Category: Reviews

Review: Sha’Daa: Tales of the Apocalypse

Sha’Daa: Tales of the Apocalypse edited by Michael Hanson

review written by Frank Dutkiewicz

(The following review first appeared 2008 in Atomjack magazine.)

I love reading anthologies and I tend to gravitate to them, but finding one that will pique my interest enough to take a chance on it can be chancy. So when one of my favorite authors, Mike Resnick, wrote the forward to Sha’Daa: Tales of the Apocalypse, it was enough for me to want to dive in.

Sha’Daa: Tales of the Apocalypse is the brainchild of Michael Hanson. He enlisted the help of ten other authors to bring his idea to life. The Sha’Daa is a forty-eight hour window in which the barriers between our world and the Hell dimensions become thin. The event happens once in ten thousand years. Old myths and superstitious have made a few wary of the hidden portal openings spread over our world. One mysterious man, Johnny the Salesman, is the only one aware of the oncoming doom. Eleven authors have written stories on a few of the collapsing portals and of the lone man selling salvation to an unsuspecting human race.

“The Dive” by Edward McKeown

Kevin Hanlon is the District Supervisor in charge of a group of misfit subway workers. He is sent into the New York subway to investigate a strange opening in one of the tunnels where he discovers the demons that are about to invade our world. All the demons need is a bit of human blood and a few souls for the gates of Hcell to be opened. Hanlon must convince his rainbow-coalition band of misfits to help him save the day.

If Hollywood is searching for their next action-packed cheesy-horror film, they need to look no further than The Dive. Like a cheesy film, it opens with Hanlon introducing his nine misfit workers, each equipped with their own colorful nickname. It doesn’t take long for Hanlon’s skeptical team to realize his tale of marauding demons isn’t crazy. They are the only ones standing in the way of an army of alligator and aped-faced monsters and an unsuspecting New York City. What happens next would fit any Predator/Alien sequel — pitched battles, rescuing of a damsel in distress, with a clichà ©d line or two thrown in for comedic effect†(“Can’t we all just get along?”)

If you are familiar with this standard storyline you can probably figure out what will happen. The only mystery is guessing who will bite the bullet before it ends. The Salesman’s character was done well but he reminded me of Kazoo (alien from the Flintstones), just not as corny or silly.

Despite my complaints, “The Dive” is an entertaining read. For an opening story to an anthology like this, it does fit. The action is nicely written and the pacing is quick.

“Tunguska Outpact“ by Deborah Koren

Kate is a young woman dragged into the Siberian wilderness by her boyfriend. Saul is heading a University expedition to investigate the 1908 Tunguska event. Kate becomes furious with Saul when he completes a trade she refused earlier with the Salesman – a watch for her stuffed-bear. Kate’s bubbling anger for her boyfriend, and for the world at large, is just what is needed to bring about the Sha’Daa.

“Tunguska Outpact” is a hell of a story. Ms. Koren took a simple tale of a girl with issues and made it into something more. There are only few a characters in this piece but the story is really about Kate anyway. The supporting casts serve as excellent foils for her character. Solidly done from her point of view, you get a vivid idea on what she thinks of others with a few well-placed words, a rare gift Ms. Koren uses efficiently. The crux of the story is the conflict with her soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend, Saul. She defines their relationship with little quips, such as this take on Saul’s presents, describing them as,(not) gifts at all, but little collar-and-leash sets”.

Within the story are short flashbacks dating back to when she first received her bear. Generally, a bad idea but Ms. Koren uses them appropriately and exploits them to move the story along. You get a solid idea on why Kate became the resentful girl that she has become.

The climactic scene almost comes off as anti-climactic. It looked as if it would turn into something outlandish but Ms. Koren wisely reeled it in before it got out of hand. The ending fell a little flat but the end couldn’t have possibly made this story grander anyway.

“Tunguska Outpact” is probably not going to win any awards but the storyteller I am suspecting will someday. I found Deborah Koren’s style and story-telling ability outstanding. I will be looking forward to more of her works in the future.

“Lava Lovers” by Wilson “Pete” Marsh

Doctors Toby and Sarah Nightwalkers are geologists enjoying a working vacation in the Mediterranean. They hire an old salt of a sailor named Agenor to take them to the Santorini Caldera, site of a series of volcanic eruptions dating back to 1600 BC. The two young doctors have a shared passion for old myths and legends, which is the reason why they sought Agenor services.

Against Agenor’s better judgment, the couple camp out on Akroteri, site of the ancient city that was buried in the 1600 BC eruption. On the slab of rock they camp on, the pair discover handprints – left hand human, right a three-fingered claw , that is identical to one they saw in the Petroglyphs of New Mexico. The prints remind Toby of an old myth his grandfather used to tell. Under his bride’s prodding, he recites the words to bring forth the Sha’Daa.

“Lava Lovers” starts out as nothing more than a married couple having a semi-interesting conversation. When Agenor comes on the scene (a couple of pages in) the story begins to get entertaining. At one point, a good page is set aside for a geological lecture. Interesting if you’re watching the Discovery Channel. Not so much if you’re reading an anthology about the coming apocalypse.

Half way through the piece switches into high gear. The action is solid and the tension first-class. Mr. Marsh does an excellent job of bringing his characters to life. They are likeable and funny. The humor is slight but his timing is perfect. The Salesman makes a brief appearance and Marsh seems to have an excellent grasp of his character. For such a short role he has a major impact in the plot.

“Lava Lovers” is a bit slow off the starting line but recovers and finishes strong. I liked this story a lot.

“The Way of the Warrior” by Arthur Sanchez

Shinzo is a monk in the Temple of Eternal Light, and like the rest of the monks, seeks to become a warrior. As a monk, most of his battles are against grime and his weapon is a mop. In his spare time, Shinzo is the warrior he seeks to be in the world of video games.

The monks are the first defense against the demons that seek to destroy Earth. They train for the day of the challenge. Two grand champions, one demon, the other a member of the monastery, will battle for the fate of Earth on the chosen day. The time is unknown, but it is decided when all the blossoms on the cherry trees in the monastery’s garden have fallen.

On this day, the rest of the monks are away leaving only the Grand Master to watch the cherry trees and Shinzo to polish the floors. The Salesman appears with a mop and cleaner that magically cleans the floor for Shinzo, for a price to good to pass up. The cleaner works wonders, a little too well when an unsuspecting Master slips on the slippery floor, leaving Shinzo alone — just as the blossoms begin to fall.

“The Way of the Warrior” is a jewel of a story. It is quite simply, hilarious. The demon champion left me in stitches. This Salesman is the craftiest in the anthology. Shinzo is the least likely champion fate could provide. Shinzo uses his wits, and love of the video game, to combat an impossibly formidable opponent.

As someone that attempts to make others laugh, my hat goes off to Mr. Sanchez. Bravo.

“Breaking Even” by Jamie Schmidt

Kenneth is a gambler with a psychic gift that gives him an edge. Banned from most of the casinos in the universe, he returns to Las Vegas to see if he can weasel his way back into some action. The glitzy Nevada city is filled with demons who are quite aware of Kenneth’s gift. He is escorted to the airport where he runs into the Salesman. Johnny offers Kenneth a stake in the biggest game in the universe.

Imagine Maverick with aliens and demons. Throw in a daughter Kenneth never knew he had and you got the basic story line of “Breaking Even”. The story has plenty of one-liners, almost all of them corny. “I love Mexican”, is one a demon drops after devouring a Chihuahua.

I found Kenneth unlikable, the villain predictable, and the cast of characters unremarkable. I think the story would have been better served without the sitcom-level humor. I did find the ending delightfully poetic. Nevertheless, Breaking Even came off as unexceptional.

“Dixie Chrononauts” by D. R. MacMaster

Harvey Cormac is a US Marine, home from Iraq. He chooses to spend his off time in a Confederate Civil War re-enactment company headed to Gettysburg. While traveling on a back-road/shortcut in a bus with the company, which is followed by a professor eager to stop madman from starting the Sha’Daa, and a Homeland Security agent transporting a van load of weapons (alone) for the Maryland State Police, they are transported back in time days before the 1863 battle. Harvey Wraith, (the villain) has gone back into time as well. The deaths of the battlefield and a suspicious virgin pregnancy are the two pieces needed to bring about the Sha’Daa. Harvey and his fellow stranded time travelers are the only ones that can stop him.

“Dixie Chrononauts” started off fast and showed promise but slowed to a crawl a page or two in and dragged from that point on. The first ten pages or so are used to introduce the seven main characters and set up the unlikely scenario that places them all together on a lonely dirt road. The next ten after that are for the characters to get their bearings and figure out what the reader all ready knows. The remainder of the story becomes a desperate battle between conveniently well-armed heroes and giant snakes, spiders, and other creepy crawlers.

“Dixie Chrononauts” reads like a knock-off idea based on so many 1950 horror movies I watched as a kid. The heroes come off as stereotypical and the villain is just plain silly. All Harvey Wraith needed was a curled handlebar mustache to complete the picture. The story is littered with characters and the shifting perspectives made it difficult to follow.

The last line in “Dixie Chrononauts” sums up the piece perfectly for me.

“It’s a long story,”

“The Great Nyuk-Nyuk” by Adrienne Ray

Brian Mulcahey is a smart-alec sixth-grade student of St. Bernadette’s Middle School. His tormenting of Sister Farzenweiner and the rest of the staff has earned him the attention of the Vatican. They are convinced he is the savior that will make the King of Atrocities laugh, thus saving the world.

The premise to this one is silly. Fortunately, it’s supposed to be. The story is more about a Jesuit priest having doubts about his faith than about a jokester being put on the biggest spot ever. I found Brian likeable but unremarkable. Truthfully, I knew cleverer smart-alecs growing up.

“The Great Nyuk-Nyuk” is funny but is not in the league of the earlier comedic piece, “The Way of the Warrior.“ I didn’t find it as clever or as smooth. It was nevertheless a fun story.

“Talking Heads” by Nancy Jackson

Professor ‘Ronny’ Johns hand picks a group of students to help her investigate a rash of strange occurrences on Easter Island. Ronny worries that her grandfather’s old stories of the coming Sha’Daa are true. With the help of a gifted blind student, she hopes to uncover the mystery of the Monoliths.

“Talking Heads” follows an all too familiar blueprint. Set a group of people at the right place in the last possible moment to foil a carefully laid 10,000 year-old evil plan. Professor Ronny drags what she hopes will be the saviors of the world with her, but withholds crucial information on why they’re there so they won’t panic. Her students fit the clichà ©d plot perfectly. There are two hunky boys competing for the same girl and a blind girl (why are they always blind?) gifted with a psychic-like vision. Add a student that doesn’t believe anything, another who believes all is lost, and one more that wants to cut and run, and you have your world saving bunch.

I did like the impending doom implications — plants swallowing islanders and turning them into zombies while the gods wreck havoc one island at a time, does sound cool. The Salesman in this tale plays a prominent role but I found him to be stiff compared to how he was protrayed in other stories. To loosen things up, Ms. Jackson does try her hand at a funny line or two.

“â€I handpicked each of you because you were smart and talented. Martin, I think I invited you for comic relief.”

Despite my complaints, “Talking Heads” isn’t a bad story. The plot is sound but slow developing. Not close to my favorite but still worthy of the anthology.

“The Seventh Continent” by Lee Ann Kuruganti

The scientist, researchers, and workers living at McMurdo Base in Antarctica are celebrating their mid-winter greetings celebration when a nearby volcano erupts, releasing green-bubble monsters sent by the Sha’Daa dark lords. The bubbles are deadly and can’t be stopped. Or can they?

The first eight pages of “The Seventh Continent” is nothing but inane conversations between twenty-something Real-World (show, not life) wannabes. I began to wonder if all the western governments decided to populate Antarctica with nothing but skateboarders and rappers (plan does have merit). Once you got through the chatter, the story got better. But just like the Real-World the characters come off as selfish. I couldn’t find one thing to like about any of them. What I did like were the monsters. For green bubbles they were pretty slick, no two humans died the same way inside their transparent skins. Even for the Antarctic they were cool.

So I did find something to root for in Ms Kuruganti’s story. Unfortunately, it was for the wrong side.

“Prana” by Michael Hanson

Prana is the second most powerful being in creation. The coming Sha’ Daa draws it to a small world filled with insignificant creatures called humans. Prana feeds off the energy of the invading demons. To maximize his absorbing potential, Prana divides into 1000 sub-Prana. The plan is to reassemble after the end of the Sha’ Daa, more powerful than before. But the longer the sub-Prana’s remain apart, the more they resist the call to return as one. And one, Prana-777, has taken a keen interest in humans.

“Prana” is more of a loose bunch of small stories within a larger one. Once divided, many of Prana’s smaller parts begin to develop their own sense of identity. The longer apart, the more advanced their individuality becomes. There is a thin moral here, being part of something greater than yourself is not always great. This story comes off much like how Mr. Hanson’s interludes do, excellent tales in small doses, but as one connected piece, “Prana” felt disjointed. Part of the reason is the ending fizzled and I wanted something more.

“The Salesman” by Rob Adams

Johnny has masqueraded as a human for ten millennia. His sentence for interfering in the Sha’Daa has come full circle. The new Sha’Daa approaches and he is doing all he can so the brave, unsuspecting people of Earth will have a chance. The golden-tooth salesman then comes across a new player to the game. Prana is here to make sure Johnny doesn’t interfere with the Sha’Daa, something Johnny has been destined to do.

Rob Adams was given the task to tie all the separate stories together. He does that and provides a background for dear old Johnny. We learn who and what Johnny is and why he has lived on Earth for so long. A good portion of the tale shows what happened to him before he became the Salesman.

“The Salesman” is a nice bow for a smartly wrapped present. Mr. Adams did very well taking a single character based of several different authors ideas of what he was. This Johnny wasn’t quite the crafty, sharp-witted door-to-door salesman Arthur Sanchez created, or the wise angel-like being in “The Dive,” but he was a very rich character. I found this story as a fitting finale for this anthology. Mr. Hanson chose well picking his anchorman for his project.

Prologue, interludes, and epilogue by Michael Hanson

These are the little intermissions set between each chapter. Two things made them different from the rest of the stories. A) They’re short and B) They don’t involve Johnny the Salesman.

The prologue and epilogue are the snug fitting bookends that they should be. The interludes are complete standouts, and not the bridges between chapters I thought they were at first. The longest is nine-pages. Most fall into a one to two page length. I found the majority of them to be sharp and a few of them outstanding. Some of the less-than-a-thousand word stories had richer plots than a couple of the ten thousand word plus chapters.

I particularly liked “Jump”, “Invasion Force”, and “The Friendly Skies.” My favorite was “Brave Man”. I found most of the interludes delightful.

Final Analysis

It can’t be easy to grasp someone else’s idea, especially when you have a narrowly defined character to work with, and write a story that fits what the creator envisioned. Mr. Hanson’s brainchild was no ordinary guideline to follow. What he asked for was the equivalent of JRR Tolken approaching a group of writers to help him create Lord of the Rings to his specifications and satisfaction. The concept of the Sha’Daa and Johnny the Salesman are exciting ones. Finding eleven writers to help fill up a novel based on Mr. Hanson’s idea couldn’t have been easy.

As a reader of many anthologies, I have yet to find one where I liked every story when they are written by so many different authors. Sha’Daa does not break that streak. More than a few of the plots felt forced to me and the quality of writing was not consistent, but almost all the stories were satisfactory. I did find more than a few to be outstanding.

“Tunguska Outpact” and “Lava Lovers” were exceptional. Couple those with Michael Hanson’s many interludes and the fitting final act, “The Salesman,” and you have a great book. I found their stories to be well worth the price of admission. However, I liked Arthur Sanchez’s “The Way of the Warrior” so much I would recommend the Sha’Daa based on his story alone.

So, if like reading about the end of the world, the Sha’Daa: Tales of the Apocalypse is the book for you. I recommend you buy yourself a copy. You won’t be disappointed.

Frank hasn’t made many friends since he started doing reviews so heÂwent andÂfound a newÂchum.ÂBob is his new best bud but word is they had a recent falling out. Frank was overheard callingÂBob a ‘Windbag’ while mutual friends claim Bob refers to Frank as a ‘Blowhard’ behind his back.

Daily Science Fiction: October Review

written by Frank Dutkiewicz

As I said in my last months review, an editor for a respectable review publication explained that the reason why he wasn’t reviewing Daily Science Fiction was because they had too much to cover. He may have been right, but every problem has a solution. With the help of four great and wonderful writers from my favorite writers workshop, Hatrack, a complete review of October is done. So thank you Todd Rathke, Louis Doggett, Ismail Rodriquez, and Ian Synder for your help.

Now onto another month of great speculative fiction.

The Stories

Joan tries her hand at spelunking. When she emerges out of the cave, she enters a dead world in “Finding Joan” (debut 10/01/10) by David D. Levine. A gamma ray blast from an exploded star has sterilized North America and the depleted ozone is now killing the rest of the planet. A weekend to help find herself has now turned into a lifetime experience.

So what would you do if you found out you were one of the last people left on Earth? When Joan and her three companions exit the cave, they see a sky with brown clouds and death all around them. The quartet discover there are others who have survived, a fortunate few like them that were shielded from the deadly blast. Her friends want to find them but Joan cannot leave her life behind, empty as it is.

“Finding Joan” is great science fiction. The plot is well thought out and the science is sound. The readers are thrown into a world were the worst has happened. Joan is drawn wonderfully as a woman who has lost everything but refuses to restart her life with her companions. A lot of people like Joan would have ended it all, unable to grasp the tragedy around them. Joan instead decides to become Portland’s last resident. Her issue is with closure and it helped carry the reader through the last half of the story. I enjoyed the ending Mr. Levine wrote – very heartwarming and full of hope.

My only issue is the story takes too long to fill in the characters what the readers have realized. We already knew the what but had to wait to find out the why. About a thousand words in the middle of the piece dragged. The rest I found brilliant. Great story by a great story teller.

“Gamed” (debut 10/04/10) by Stephen Gaskell is the story of Zhen, a young Bejing girl working as a gaming assistant for players. The factory she works in is strict. The gamers work without ever seeing the outside. A wooden door leads to the outside and Zhen only wishes to see the sky. A rare chance gives her an opportunity to open the door.

“Gamed” is a “Gotcha!” story. The author does dot the story with plenty of clues so if you’re caught off guard it’s your fault. The story is short (too short) but complete. I had to read it twice to make sure I was getting the correct point it was making. I liked it.

“Losses: A Game” (debut 10/05/10) by M. O. Walsh is about an odd game set in the clouds. The playing field is attached to a rope that a man holds. You pay him and climb. Once on the field, things you lost (big and small, important and insignificant) appear. The object is to stay on as long as you can before regret gets the best of you.

I took “Losses: A Game” to be a philosophical fiction piece. The game is supposed to be popular but I can’t understand how it could be. The idea of reliving everything you lost in your life doesn’t sound likes it’s worth climbing a rope into the sky, or the two bucks for the privilege of doing so. The story was just too odd for my tastes.

Ricky just wants some time to himself in “Solitude” (debut 10/06/10) by Michael Guillebeau. But alone on the All-Party Planet is impossible. There, “â€everybody has to be everybody’s friend.” Lucy has a simple plan to change it. Perhaps talking about it might be better.

An All-Party planet doesn’t sound as fun as it should be. It sounded like Time’s Square at New Years Eve all the time. I wouldn’t want to spend more there ten minutes there myself. This one was too silly for me.

“Fashion Statement” by Peter Roberts (debut 10/07/11) is a conversation between two people. They share opinions on the latest in clothing design and discuss the latest trends in getting sick.

“Fashion Statement” is all dialog. The readers are treated as if they’re trapped in an elevator with two cackling hens gossiping, oblivious to anyone listening. The first part of this short piece sounds just like two privileged busybodies yaking it up, then their conversation twists into something surreal. That twist turned a boring story into an unbelievable one.

A “Fashion Statement” clashed with my tastes.

Jeffery Godfrey sees his dead mother hanging in his closet in “Migrating Bears” (debut 10/08/10) by Helena Leigh Bell. Odd things happen to young Godfrey. Termites like to swarm on him. Small gargoyle statues multiply in his dresser draw. His friend Caroline believes everything he says while his father thinks he is having an issue letting go of his deceased mother.

Jeff is a kid with issues. He is failing fifth grade, again, his father is distant, and his only friend is the one person that is stranger than he is. Then there is all the weird stuff. He rationalizes the unexplained incidents in his life with simple explanations. His world is a supernatural three-ringed circus but he is unfazed by it all.

I didn’t like how the story was told. The reader watches all the odd things happening to Godfrey from a distance. The story is almost devoid of dialog. What little there is comes across like punch lines to an inside joke. I don’t know where Ms. Bell was headed with this story but I jumped off way before the end. It just wasn’t for me.

“Grinpa” by Brian K. Lowe (debut 10/11/10) is a little boy’s telling of the day his grandfather died and when the aliens landed on Earth. The young lad is pulled out of his school to join his mother at the hospital. A world-shaking event is happening simultaneously in the rest of the world. While the aliens are landing outside the UN building, Grinpa is breathing his last breaths.

The two events, an elderly loved one succumbing to old age, and the coming of visitors from beyond the stars, is like comparing apples and oranges in the grand scheme of things. The very ideas seem to clash, but telling them from a perspective of a very young boy gave “Grinpa” an emotional depth that I don’t believe could be accomplished with only one of the events happening.

It may be easy to miss the message in this piece but if you caught it, you wouldn’t be able to escape its emotional impact. The protagonist chooses to miss the first look at the aliens as they step out of the vessel so his Grinpa isn’t left alone. Ironically, his father provides the reason while waiting for the aliens to appear on the TV.

I may be a sucker for Science Fiction with an emotional impact told by children. RECOMMENDED

In “Bless this House” by Beth Cato (debut 10/12/10 and reviewed by Todd Rathke) Emma’s life has hit a rough patch, her husband is bed-ridden, recovery looking grim, and her new born daughter is wailing with colic. Only more sleepless nights are on the horizon. Then a unicorn comes blessing the house.

Every word seemed artfully and perfectly written but when the sentences were put together, it lacked flow, and I found myself lost. Still the story succeeds on some parts. As a reader I feel Emma’s pain, her hopelessness, so much so that I wanted to put a gun to my head to end it all. So I applaud the writer here. But the story doesn’t end there. There are two struggles here, the one for surviving the depression, which leads her to taking the horn, and I assume killing the unicorn in the process. And it is that struggle that I found lacking and feel cheated on. It was hidden, throughout the piece, until the end and shouldn’t have been as it was told in her point of view.

The clocks have all gone crazy in “Zero Hour” by Sue Burke (debut 10/13/10), and the protagonist’s wife is responsible for the change. The world is perfect. Refrigerators tell you what to eat and careers are offered according to your skills. The network does what is best for you, which is why it has to go.

Big Brother is alive in Aunt Becky, the name given for the computer overseer in “Zero Hour.” Aunt Becky has everyone shaking in their boots. Saboteurs tried to disable her but only managed to disrupt the clocks. The protagonist in the story fears for his wife and believes he may have seen the last of her when he leaves for work.

The concept to “Zero Hour” is intriguing but the route the author took robbed it of its intrigue. The story is told with the protagonist spending what he believes is the last morning with his wife. An over lying fear is present, as if eyes on everyone at every second. We never really experience Aunt Becky so the fear feels like an illusion. As a result, the story is flat and the characters failed to entice me.

“Susan 3342 A.D.” (debut 10/14/10 and reviewed by Ismail Rodriquez) by Marge Simon is about a hermaphrodite couple experiencing their long awaited chance at having a State authorized baby. One partner has obvious nurturing instincts while the other, not so much. They then must deal with the devastating news that their healthy newborn is – only female, considered a throwback. This story is a poignant reminder that no matter how much things change, some things never do.

“Susan 3342 A.D.” is a short work of speculative fiction near 600 words. Set in a so-called advanced culture, this couple struggles with personality traits that can’t simply be bred out even by State mandated advanced hermaphroditic techniques. There are also issues with handling difficulties in life that are as apropos today as they might be in a far-flung future. Susan 3342 A.D. is as thought provoking as it is chilling to contemplate the grasp of government in such a fashion as set here. A must read.

“Addendum to the Confessions of St. Augustine of Hippo” by Edoardo Albert (debut 10/15/10) is a tale set in the final days of the Roman Empire. Bishop Augustine of Hippo confesses his greatest regret and speaks of discovering a way to time travel while the city is on the verge of collapse.

“Addendum” has a long title, which is fitting because the story read a lot longer than its 4000 words. The story is set with an urgency of a city about to collapse and a hopelessness of not being able to prevent it. The bishop confesses to his scribe with a detachment to the reality outside. His tale is unbelievable, spoken like a man convinced his delusions are real; delusions a man on the verge of a mental breakdown would dream up. As a result, his tale sounds like a ramble. I had to resist the urge to tune out. The ending had a twist that came off as one big cheat to me. It cemented the ill feelings I had to the piece.

As an avid fan of Alternate History (which is the category this story falls under) I was disappointed with “Addendum.” As a time travel story, a better explanation on how it was possible would have helped.

“Longevity, Inc.” by Geoffery C Porter (debut 10/16/10) is a corporation that uses mice to determine your future health. Jill prods her husband into buying a pair of mice. The company finds a genetic match and puts them on the same diet, exercise regiment and habits of their owners. When the mice die, an evaluation of your future health and what will kill you can be determined.

“Longevity, Inc.” is a novel idea. On the surface, it sounds like a scam someone will eventually dream up in the near future. But the idea has merit, which makes the story intriguing. The first half of the story follows the protagonist and his wife, Jill, when they first apply for the mice. This part seemed needlessly long. I was intrigued with what would happen to the mice but the excitement devolved into something close to the level of waiting to hear lab results on blood work. I did find the ending cute.

In short, “Longevity, Inc.” is solid science fiction. I liked the premise but the characters weren’t all that interesting.

“Chick Lit” (debut 10/19/10 and reviewed by Ismael Rodriquez) by Keyan Bowes is about two co-workers with an unusual problem; Nelli’s new boyfriend has feathers – all over, and her friend doesn’t believe her. They may be good co-workers but they definitely have different values when it comes to acceptance of others. Nelli finds out late about the saying that it’s better to fly with eagles than group with turkeys.

“Chick Lit” is a fictional piece of just over 500 words. It’s about a girl with a problem and a friend/co-worker who could care less. Later, the girl doesn’t have the problem and the friend is more concerned than ever about it. I had to read it several, SEVERAL times over to even come up with anything noteworthy about it. I failed to see what the editors saw in it.

“Group Session” by Terry Bramlet (debut 10/20/11) involves a meeting between the three main computer systems and their human caretaker. Highway, Financial, and Internet have only one problem, there lives would operate perfectly if it wasn’t for all the humans they were designed to service.

“Group Session” is a corporate meeting between civilization-running programs that turns into a therapy session. The three virtual reality simulations act like overstressed people all dealing with the same problem, which they are. I found the story fun, with a few humorous lines throw in. The story wasn’t all that deep but was entertaining.

Memories are stored in finely crafted wooden boxes in “Memory Boxes” by Pam L. Wallace (debut 10/21/10). Sara surrounds her dying husband with their most treasured memories. She opens them one at a time to comfort Darrell as he takes his last breaths.

If only cherished memories could be stored in the lovely boxes in Ms. Wallace’s story and be shared so readily. “Memory Boxes” is heart-warming but thin. Perhaps the story could have been expanded but I believe it would have lost some of its luster if it were lengthened. Nice piece.

“A Theory of Sixth-Sense Aesthetics” by Ciro Fainza (debut 10/22/10) is an introduction into psi-phy, a form of art where the viewer is subjected to a psychic revelation while absorbing an artists sculpture or painting (I wasn’t sure how to describe them). William is accompanying his girlfriend, Simone, at the museum for the latest unveiling. Simone is an artist while William is doing his best to understand the baffling exhibit.

“Theory” takes the tact of following William, a confused patron who is there to support Simone, as he tries to grasp a futuristic pseudo-art crowd fawning over what sounds like garbage they call art. William is lost as he does his best to fit in for the benefit of his girl. He is failing and it is obvious to all in the gallery and to Simone. The story is meant to show how uncomfortable and out of place William is. The author succeeds because I felt as out of place as he did trying to comprehend what he was viewing.

The science fiction of this futuristic art gallery is first class. I can see such a gallery and the snobbish enthusiast it would attract. Part of the problem for me is the author did too good of a job writing snooty characters to make the gallery convincing. Simone just didn’t sound worth it for William to go through all of that work. It would be like dragging a grease monkey to the ballet and expect him to mingle with the dancers afterward.

Ciro Fainza achieved his goal in “A Theory of Sixth-Sense Aesthetics”, but the characters where just too unlikable for me to recommended it. The writing was superior but, like the art, the story failed to draw me in.

“High Mileage” by J G Faherty is set in a future where families are as interchangeable as cars. Sid is jealous of his neighbors improved model. Bob convinces Sid that the investment is worth it considering how much trouble his older model was giving him.

Cloning and behavioral modifications have made fixing marriages and problem children as easy as trading in a rusting Cadillac. The first half of the story is written so as if Bob is talking about a car (not hard to see through). This short piece is cute but predictable. I still enjoyed it.

“A Game of Horse and Dragon” by Sarah L. Edwards, (debut Oct 26, 2010 and reviewed by Ian Synder), tells the story of a small child playing with his toy horse and dragon. The little boy feels bad for the horse because he knows it will always lose, but the horse keeps trying.

It’s strange, at 300-ish words the story feels overdeveloped and underdeveloped at the same time. She speaks of the child being ill and his father brought something from the mountains to help him and leaves that at that, and then speaks of the child’s pity for the horse, saying it was once something else, possibly a man. Some of the unanswered questions could have been left out, or she could have answered them with more words and I would feel better about the story.

Brenda Cannon Kalt has an intriguing and sad tale. The story “Cradle Song” (debut 10/27/10 and reviewed by Louis Doggett) by Brenda Cannon Kalt, takes place on another planet, Pallarus. The story consists of a conversation between two people. One a blue collar woman making sure a ballroom is ready for a going away party that evening, while the other is the planet’s governor, who the party is for.

The conversation is both entertaining and informative. Brenda tells what needs to be explained in a well managed way. EvenÂthough he story is sad, I enjoyed it for it is, what I call sad in a good way. I recommend it for anyone who likes short, short stories with a solid story line with no violence but yet an interesting story line.

In “Flipping the Switch” by Michael Vella, (debut on Oct 28, 2010 and reviewed by Ian Snyder) Vella tells the tale of a pair of men who are working on time travel. The protagonist speaks of deja vu after his partner flips the switch on their machine with no apparent results.

He looks at a picture of his family and regrets the amount of time he has lost with them while working on the project. After he works on the settings for the machine he goes back into the shop and inputs the settings, then tells his partner that he wants to wait till the next day to test the machine, wanting to get home to his family. His partner insists on flipping the switch, bringing you back to the start of the story.

It’s an interesting little story Ala Star Trek: TNG episode Time Squared and Groundhog’s Day.

In “Moonlight and Bleach” by Sandra McDonald {debuted on Oct 29, 2010 and reviewed by Ian Snyder), McDonald spins the yarn of a woman with a very strange affliction, she is a were-maid. Her mother was a werewolf and her father had a cleaning fetish. So now when the full moon comes out she transforms into a maid, black dress, white apron and all.

To help keep questions down about her strange affliction she has her cousin get her cleaning jobs at the full moon from people that don’t ask too many questions. One job he sends her to ends up having a fireman for a next door neighbor, the fireman calls her up after the job and asks if she could clean his place for him. After she declines (Its not a full moon) he asks her out to dinner. She ends up making a fool of herself when the young man starts to ask too many questions.

The young woman tells her cousin she can’t go back to that job again, and he sends her elsewhere on the next full moon. The new client and her dog scare the young woman and send her running. She goes back to the fireman’s building, only to find her previous client is in the hospital with a broken hip. She turns to the fireman in desperation and he takes her to the laundry room of a homeless shelter where he works on the side.

In exchange for the work, the fireman wants to know her story. She tells him of her curse as she cleans and when the night is over he escorts her home, not caring if she is cursed or not.

I personally am not a big fan of romances, but McDonald spins a nice tale here. If you’re looking for a quick romantic jaunt with a side of were-weird then this tale should be what you’re looking for.

The Can’t Miss Listâ€

As my only recommended story, “Grinpa” by Brian K. Lowe tops this months list, but “Finding Joan” by David D. Levine I found to be a delight, the best of the Friday stories (the lengthy ones). My fellow reviewer, Ismail Rodriquez, particularly liked “Susan 3342 A.D.” by Marge Simon but fell short of giving it my high standard recommendation qualification. I should point out a recommended qualification is a story that makes me go ‘Wow!’ after I read it. ‘Wonderful’ won’t get you a recommendation (sorry).

I found October’s DSF still a high standard publication, better than any pro-publication you’ll find out there. However, compared to last month’s, October’s comes in second.

I recommend all of you to subscribe to DSF’s daily email (if you haven’t already).

Frank hasn’t made many friends since he started doing reviews so heÂwent andÂfound a newÂchum.ÂBob is his new best bud but word is they had a recent falling out. Frank was overheard callingÂBob a ‘Windbag’ while mutual friends claim Bob refers to Frank as a ‘Blowhard’ behind his back.

“Chick Lit” is a fictional piece of just over 500 words. It’s about a girl with a problem and a friend/co-worker who could care less. Later, the girl doesn’t have the problem and the friend is more concerned than ever about it. I had to read it several, SEVERAL times over to even come up with anything noteworthy about it. I failed to see what the editors saw in it.

Review: Cardboard Universe by Christopher Miller

written by (another) Christopher Miller

While my wife hunts for DVDs we haven’t already seen, I peruse Cherry Hill Video’s vast shredder1 shelves for interesting books. Because literary acclaim and commercial popularity are if not mutually exclusive then pretty antithetical, unlike over at Zehrs or Shoppers Drug Mart where it’s all overpriced, assembly-line pulp by publishing’s fistful of brand-name authors, here, for just five dollars, sparkle some real gems.2

Like a defensive tackle hunting for offensive openings, I shift sideways past long shelves. So many covers vie for my attention, it’s mostly a crapshoot. Serendipitously for me my name is Christopher Miller or I’d probably never notice “The Cardboard Universe” by,Christopher Miller.3

Curious, I pick it up. Thick,a generous number of pages. Interesting cover,a stack of paperbacks. Its promising title is displayed more prominently than our name,another positive. No Kirkus “review”,always a huge plus. Some accolades of course, but no industry blurbs,ever since Nelson DeMille described Dan Brown’s “Digital Fortress” as “intelligent” I’ve been leery of these. On the back it says Miller teaches at Bennington College in Vermont. A random scan of some middle page reveals clean, intelligent, accessible prose,something about a canned pig-brains diet. But wait,it’s his second book. Darn. Ordinarily this is a show-stopper, second books being the ones publishers “help” authors rush out on the off chance the first book flies (as Miller’s “Sudden Noises from Inanimate Objects” certainly appears to have). So, again, lucky for me we have the same name.

Happily, I buy it (while my wife rents the next season of “Breaking Bad”). For the first few weeks all I do is drive around with it in my car. I show it to friends, coworkers, family members,lots of people. Everyone congratulates me and, until I come clean, exhibits newfound respect. Then, after I’ve finished using it as a novelty item (and given up on Updike’s “Couples”), I take it home and read it.

It’s in the form of an encyclopedic portrayal (complete with an index) of the sad and funny life and prodigious writings of science-fiction legend, Phoebus K. Dank, via an alphabetized compilation of reviews, essays and epistolary (warring) footnotes by two English professors, once close “friends” of his, and between whom no love is lost or opinion shared. The dominant of the two collaborators, William Boswell, who wrote his doctoral dissertation on Dank, acknowledges at the start that we are perhaps spared through his summarization of Dank’s considerable volume of texts having to wade ourselves through their copious “Dankian” prose to get at their genius. Owen Hirt, the other contributor, is scathing in all his remarks, both personal and literary, tending toward generalized mockery of the obese and obsessive author and his juvenile oeuvre, and to avoid, as though unworthy (or unread), abstract or example.

This threading of multiple narratives,Boswell and Hirt’s reviews; biographical accounts; footnotes inserted into each other’s entries,seems a risky technique. Readers develop preferences. My personal favorites are Boswell’s reviews of Dank’s work. It’s hard to summarize a novel that is itself so synoptic, and where so much stands out that it’s arbitrary to filter. Still, let me randomly and paraphrastically remember:

Dank’s novel about a brilliant writer who, in the course of writing the most intelligent book ever, incurs brain damage by nodding too vigorously during a philosophical discussion,only an IQ point or two, but enough that he can no longer understand what he has written.

Dank’s belief that when commenting on a writer’s work you should use the “poison sandwich” approach: say something nice; say what you really think; say something nice.

Dank’s novel in which he “forgets” about time zones and even hemispheres4 and has everyone on Earth waking up at exactly the same “time” one “morning” from the same dream, and when asked about his poetic license and intent here by well-meaning Boswell, horrified, breaks into a warehouse containing 8000 waiting-to-ship copies of his book and slips a note into each directing readers to skip the opening chapter.

Dank’s ability to write faster than he can type by using abbreviations for oft-repeated phrases like “bb” for “big-breasted” 5 but that lead to transcription errors like “robig-breasteders” for “robbers” in his published (and presumably unedited) manuscripts.

Dank’s obsession with literary recognition and acclaim that compel him, even as a popular author, to enter writing contests for children, though he never wins and only once short-lists. And to join a workshop for under-discovered writers who, despite his publishing successes, accept him on the sheer ignominy of his appearance, life and prose; a workshop whose “years of constructive criticism” have reduced the only other writer of talent in it to mediocrity.

Dank’s first novel, written when he was seventeen and said to have hit his literary stride and even apex, in which a dashing Captain admiring his manly uniformed reflection in his spaceship’s window is “suddenly” zapped by a laser.

Dank’s piece about an alternate universe in which everything is exactly the same as this universe except old, instead of young, people are sexy.

Dank’s piece about an alternate universe in which everything is exactly the same as this universe except women lust after men and even the fattest, least hygienic and most uncouth slob (like him) has no problem getting picked up in bars.

Dank’s piece about an alternate universe in which everything is exactly the same as this universe except instead of a writer named Phoebus K. Dank, there’s a prolific Phillip K. Dick.

Dank’s invention of a refrigerator that, instead of employing an energy-wasting compressor, pipes cold in from outside in winter.6

Dank’s murder-mystery about a serial killer who, instead of killing people he hates, kills the person seven below them in the phonebook, and who’s caught and executed just when he would have killed himself for listing, in the phonebook’s latest issue, seven below a cousin who’d wronged him.

Dank’s book about a man whose life and experiences in the course of writing this book must exactly mirror his own, forcing him in the interest of a more interesting book to do more interesting things in his life like flashing an elderly neighbor woman and writing another book (about a plague that makes everyone always say exactly what they’re thinking) that eventually becomes his most critically acclaimed novel.

Along with Dank’s life and writing as presented in his co-biographers’ droll reviews, accounts and commentaries, appears the story of his murder. This more conventional who-done-it (or maybe why-done-it) layer at first feels incidental, even superfluous to the novel’s purpose, like the grit around which a pearl forms. It’s asserted by Boswell from the get-go that Hirt did it, that this is why he’s hiding out of country e-mailing his entries. But as the story progresses, unhappy Boswell and vainglorious Hirt, each a failed (i.e. unpublished) writer in his own right, become more integral. In Hirt’s acrimony there seems to emerge a grudging respect. Something creepy lurks in Boswell’s fandom, his moping memoir so unencumbered by romantic, or even prurient, concerns as to render him asexual, his feelings for Dank nebulous,both protective and dependant,possessive. When Hirt begins to explore their relationship in one of his own accounts, Boswell truncates the entry and (until calming down after many pages) banishes him from the project.

Some books warrant abandonment, but not total disregard. And so some I’ve reviewed on the basis of a few chapters, others on just their covers. But that is not the case here. Boswell complains that Dank’s interest only in the book he’s writing is why his seven greatest novels are unpublished. Sometimes, as now, my involvement with the book I’m reading prohibits my withholding comment until the end. Luckily for readers of this review, right now I’m only about ¾ of the way though the book (into the T entries) and so can’t “spoil” (as I learned in Hosseini’s “Kite Runner” is a uniquely Western concept) the ending. Because I would.

Obviously I don’t mind a reviewer’s autobiographical intrusion into a review. There’s no such thing as objective criticism, no separating a book from its reader. Dank understood this better than either of his biographers. Consequently the relationship between author and reader, however speculative, too is inescapable. Hirt likens four-hundred-pound, near-invalid Dank’s attempts to market himself as a “daredevil” to Oz’s bellowing, “PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN STANDING BEHIND THE CURTAIN!”

But usually I dislike when a review drags the author extraneously into the fray. As though Wallace’s depression or Dick’s (and Dank’s) methamphetamine addiction or Findley’s sexual orientation or some romance author’s looks should make their work any less or more interesting or relevant. But, given this book’s scrutiny of the relationship between a writer’s life and his work, its thematic lens cannot but focus outward on its author. Dank’s fondness for near-parallel universes and split personalities and the book’s narration by characters divided only by Miller’s imagination, and even my solipsistic discovery of this book written by a namesake that tackles themes so dear to me as to not only plant ideas in but at times appear to lift them from my head, might make it the most relatable, therapeutic (also funniest) and daunting book I’ve ever read, and which even given Miller is the seventh most common surname in North America, is still just really, really weird is all. Like looking in the mirror and seeing someone else.

Epilogue

I’ve finished the book! Surprisingly for me, I’m not going to spoil the ending. Except maybe to say it’s not the sort of ending you can spoil. By which I mean I want to read it again.

Dank has yellow-highlighted in a book every single line but one that he takes exception to. In the “Meet the Author” afterword, titled “Dueling Theremins (Two Authors Disagree About Which One Imagined the Other),” Dank, from his sickbed, interviews Miller. But he must stick to the list of questions Miller has prepared for him. This little skit seems such a clever and natural integration and extension of the novel’s themes that I press harder on my yellow marker as I read. Though I hesitate where Miller answers with “Not yet.” Perhaps, as apt as it is, this is the line I’ll leave untouched, conspicuous for my omission.

And close with two quotes from the book. The first is Goethe: “Confronted by out-standing merit in another, there is no way of saving one’s ego except by love.” The second is Boswell’s: “I was never sure if he wanted my honest opinion or the sort of unconditional love that no sophisticated reader can give any writer.” Clearly, and luckily for my ego, I am not a sophisticated reader.

1 The assumption being that any quality-published paperback selling for 4.95$ must have been rescued from recycling.

2 Just because a book hasn’t sold well doesn’t mean it’s good. I bought Copeland’s “Girlfriend [Reader] in a Coma” and Gibson’s “Spook County” from these same shelves. Conversely a book’s enjoying huge commercial success doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad†though no titles spring immediately to mind.

3 It’s humbling to go from fantasizing oneself the greatest writer of the twenty-first century (and possibly the third millennium) to discovering one is at very most the distant second-best living Christopher Miller.

4 Much the way Miller “forgets” that in Scrabble the “c” is worth not one but three points. So that Boswell’s having spelled “cat” with the “t” on a triple-letter square would have at very minimum resulted in a “grand total” of not “five” but seven points, leading me to wonder if this was a deliberate nod to Dank, or if Miller will now ask readers to skip page 286.

5 Both inspiring and also somehow forgiving this CM’s latest SF, “Causal Determinism and Free Will,” about “heroic” Philosopher Jack Stone, sent to Jupiter’s orbiting supercollider to save the universe from becoming caught in an experimental time loop, but who then for the entire story, and so presumably all eternity, can’t take his eyes off Jupiter-Ring Lock-Station Engineer Lieutenant-Commander Dolleen Payette’s enormous breasts.

6 This isn’t funny, just weird. Because that’s my invention (along with heated wiper-blades). I’ve been going on about it for years, and could probably call a dozen witnesses to corroborate.

Born in Switzerland, raised in Chicago, mostly Canadian now. ÂRestaurateur, software developer. Loves writing all genres,sci-fi to literary, horror to erotica. E.g.:ÂÂGanymede Dreams (a.k.a. Ganymede’s Song) ;ÂTake Our kids to Work Day;ÂA Hawk Circling the Wind ;ÂAdam and Eve Reading (almost) Quietly in the Bathroom

Review: Andromeda Spaceways #48

written by David Steffen

As I mentioned in my review of ASIM #47 last month, I enjoyed that first issue enough that I decided it was well worth my money to get a subscription. Well, my family’s money anyway. I was having trouble thinking of items for my Christmas list, and put a digital subscription to ASIM on there. So I got to celebrate Christmas a bit early.

One thing that I was very interested to see was whether or not the quality of the magazine would feel consistent from issue to issue. ASIM, you see, has a rotating set of editors who each take turns in the captain’s chair. #47 was edited by Patty Jansen. #48 featured Juliet Bathory. I’m quite happy to say that the quality between the two was consistently high. I very much enjoyed most of the stories–a much higher portion than I enjoy in a typical magazine. Not only that, but there are just so many stories–plenty of meat here to keep you entertained.

Now, on to the stories!

A Bag Full of Arrows by Mark Farrugia

This story focuses on a dragon-hunter’s wife and son. It’s an odd sort of dragon, who generally only eats those already dead. When the story begins the dragon-hunter has gathered a group of men to attack the dragon, but this is not his tale. This is the tale of the family he left behind, dealing with the aftermath of the attack.

Well titled, well written. A bit distant at times, and is a good complex character in a good complex problem. I really cared about what happened to the characters. She faces a difficult choice that defines the story, and which I found very interesting and well conveyed by the writing.

To Stand and Stare by Jayaprakash Satyamurthy–Venu is a professional slacker, avoiding getting a job however he can. He comes up with an ingenius idea to make a fake cell phone, which he uses to pretend that he is busy working, so that people will stop pressuring him to find a job. The trick works remarkably well… until the day his fake phone rings.

I loved the idea of this story, and though I’m not sure I really relate to his unyielding desire to do nothing at all, I still found him very likable. It kept me very interesting through these beginning stages, but later on it seemed to lose momentum and just tied everything up with a too-neat ending. I’d still recommend it for the first half.

The Number Made Flesh by Ross Murray–A tale of Death and his daughter, his heir. Death is fascinated with modern desensitization to death caused by media saturation, and the meanings attached to otherwise unimportant things like the number 13.

This was an interesting idea, and I usually like a good anthropomorphic personification, and I like see different interpretations of Death as a character. But I just found this one impossible to get into. It was very hard to get a handle on the setting and time period that the story occurs in, and it wasn’t until nearly the end when I was finally certain that this was Death. Rather than enhancing my enjoyment, this mystery just distracted me from other aspects of the story I might have enjoyed. Although I think the metaphor of Death watching death-saturated media and commenting on its affect on people, in the story it ends up being mostly about a guy watching TV.

Hobbit Query Letter by Peter Cooper. A hypothetical rejection letter that young writer upstart Mr. Tolkien might have received for his little-known manuscript Lord of the Rings.

Besides just being funny on the surface, it also makes an interesting commentary about yardsticks of equality shifting over time, and how one man’s trash can be another man’s treasure. As a writer I found this quite hilarious, and at least a little bit reassuring. As with other writers I’ve received many a rejection that blames this or that aspect of a story as though those qualities are universally undesirable by all editors, when in reality they just reflect a particular editor’s world view. I’m not sure how well this one will translate to someone without writing aspirations, but as a writer I found it quite entertaining.

Joey Blue and the Gutterbreed by Marty Young. Joey Blue lives on the streets, and every night lives in fear of the nasty and powerful creatures called the Gutterbreed that lurk in the shadows of night. Normally he would try to drink himself into a stupor to avoid the Gutterbreed, but on this particular night he finds a young girl, lost and alone and not in the best of health. To save her he must face his fears and avoid the temptations of alcohol and pass through the alleys where the Gutterbreed gather the thickest.

Throughout this story I was constantly trying to decide whether or not the Gutterbreed actually existed. In the end I decided it doesn’t really matter, especially once the stakes are raised with the introduction of the little girl. The Gutterbreed are clearly very real to Joey’s mind, and therefore they become a very real obstacle to saving the girl’s life, whether they are entities that exist outside of his fogged mind or not.

I wasn’t sure what I thought in the first half of the story, partially because I was trying to decide how much of it was real. In the end, this turned out to be my favorite story in this issue of ASIM. I liked Joey Blue. I wanted him to save the girl. And from his point of view the Gutterbreed were a terrifying and very real threat. All of this came together for a really great tale.

Halcyon by A. Dale Triplett The end of the world is nigh! Scientists have spotted an asteroid on a collision course with earth, and we only have four days to live. As if that’s not bad enough, global war breaks out in these final days. A last ditch effort is put together, a space mission to save the remnants of humanity. Most of the story takes place as the crew of this last ditch effort is visiting a bar for the very last time.

This story is just unrelentlessly depressing. I’m not saying it’s unrealistic but it is bleak as bleak can be about the nature of humanity, but is bleak without offering me any new insight to human nature or offering me any characters that I could at least root for. Among other things, the people who have been chosen to try to continue the species are spending their last day drinking heavily when they know darn well that they might need to emergency launch at any time if someone launches missiles at them. As if this story wasn’t bad enough, the last vestiges of humanity are at the mercy of drunk drivers.

The Whim of My Enemy by Amanda J. Spedding–An all out battle for survival on a train. It started with dozens, but the order has come that when the train stops, only 10 can be allowed to live.

Very action packed, non-stop happening, obviously lots of death. Shows in a very compact way how different personalities might react under extreme pressure. It kept me very interested to the end, and the author used the anticipation implicit in the setup very well. Very well done.

Radioactive Gumshoe Blues by Jamie Shanks–a 1920’s private detective story, with aliens! Benson Sterenko has taken over his brother’s P.I. business a few months after his brother’s disappearance. Benson’s sworn to find out what happened to his brother. One day, an FBI comes in, and starts talking about Sterenko’s brother, and an invasion of shapeshifting aliens, and it goes on from there.

It’s certainly an interesting idea, but I found it too slow and too exaggerated at the same time. I found the “goon” manner of speech distracting, especially constant verb number mismatches, and mispronounced words like “districk”, “crockydile”, and “precautionarial” that did nothing to enhance the story. They just set off copyediting alarms in my brain every few sentences (I know they were intentional, but without an actual purpose they were just a distraction to me). Also, I was put off by constant overblown self-descriptionsuch as “I was coiling my considerable muscles under me to spring at him like a Bengalese tiger”.

Ash by C.S. Cole A wartorn future where everyone takes a vaccine to help them breathe ash that is ever-present in the atmosphere, the ash of the enemy. Those who choose not to breathe ash are criminals and deviants.

Very interesting idea, very interesting setting, but I didn’t really feel like it was a full story.

Free Falling by Mark Welker–A future where pop media saturation has reached new lows, where suicides are covered extensively and from every angle, with up to the millisecond coverage and live footage. This is the tale of one such suicide.

Well told, very cool idea. The perfect length.

Holding by Melanie Rees–God calling tech support, trying to get a new atmosphere for the earth because this one is defective.

Very funny. Anyone who’s had to deal with phone tech supports will empathize, and the escalation to atmosphere replacement was a fun idea.

High Bidder by David C. Pinnt–South Dakota resident buys what someone claims to be the holy grail in an online auction site. It turns out that drinking from it turns people into zombies.

I spent the first 22 years of my life in South Dakota, and this story did not ring true in the slightest. It struck me as someone who has only barely heard of the state:
-The characters ALL talk with a stereotypical “back woods southern” kind of accent that I’ve never heard in SD before.
-The story takes place in relatively modern day, because there is a Brokeback Mountain joke. Yet everyone is still using party lines , the old fashioned phone setup where a whole neighborhood shares one common line, which have not been common for decades.
-Not only that, but he has internet access, which makes no sense to mix with a location that has party lines.
-A rural South Dakotan who has ever handled a gun is going to be pretty familiar with general gun terms, but this story constantly mixed up the details. A single gun switches characteristics from a rifle to a shotgun and back again. The ammunition is referred to as shells in the same sentence that it is referred to as a rifle. It sometimes makes a small hole like a rifle, and sometimes a big blast like a shotgun. The writer really ought to have checked his gun details to get them straight, and someone else should’ve double-checked it.

Beyond all the South Dakota and gun inaccuracies, the story was an unremarkable zombie story. The only thing that really struck me as original is that the holy grail is the thing that spawns zombies, for no apparent reason. The story might’ve been fair-to-middlin’ if not for the inaccurate portrayal of South Dakota and the complete botch of gun details.

Review: Daily Science Fiction – Sept 1, 2010 to Sept 30, 2010

written by Frank Dutkiewicz

Daily Science Fiction is the ambitious project of Clarion alumni and Writers of the Future author, Jonathan Laden, and King Arthur fanatic, Michele Barasso. The duo jumped feet first into the growing SF & F industry with an idea that is innovative and ideal with the ever-changing information age. The pair have dedicated getting the best of what today’s writers have to offer, and bringing it right into the laps of the most devote readers of speculative fiction, delivering it as easy (daily email) and as cheap (free) as a lover of fantasy and science fiction could hope for. To insure they’ll have only the best for the cliental, they have offered an attractive pay rate (8 cents a word) to entice the best authors out there.

Why have they embarked on this crazy idea, you may ask?

“Our kids refuse to let us read them Harry Potter, so we needed another outlet for our love of SF” is the answer they offer. Whether their real reason is noble or they really are greedy to read new and fresh fiction before anyone else has a chance to view it, publishing good speculative fiction requires more than a nice pay rate as bait. They need to be able to pick out gems that will make readers want to come back for more. Do Jon and Michele have the ability make DSF a success? I read the first month to find out for myself.

The Stories

“An Adventure in the Antiquities Trade” (debut 9/1/10) by Jeff Hecht is the perfect themed piece to open a mass email project like Daily Science Fiction. The story involves two collectors, and is set in the mid to late 21st century. The protagonist presents a correspondence to a Mr. James, one written on an old manual typewriter in the mid 20th century, when such things were still done on paper. The correspondence tells the tale of a clerk in Nigeria that has uncovered a scheme by the trading company he is working for. The company is bilking the Nigerian government and hiding the profits in a Swiss bank account. The clerk has asked a random American for his bank account so he can transfer 43 million, and promises a 10% kick back as a reward (sound familiar?).

I found “An Adventure in the Antiquities Trade” to be a clever and crisp story. Although it was a bit short, and the twist ending predictable, it was fitting as a debut story for a science fiction magazine looking for a unique way to stand out.

“Mark and ,S-h-e-l-l-y-‘-s-“ (debut 9/2/10) by Steven R Stewart is a story of a pizza shop owner named Mark and his one time romantic interest and former partner, Shelly. Shelly suddenly appears at the spaceport stand, not looking a day older, after a ten-year absence. The sign out front is still the same but her name has been crossed out. The bitter Mark feels cheated, abandoned, and is not interested in any excuse his former partner has to offer. Shelly regrets leaving in a huff all those years ago and admits in making a wrong turn, a turn that may have cost her everything but her youth.

“Mark and ,S-h-e-l-l-y-‘-s-” is a science fiction twist on the old ‘bitter lovers reuniting’ premise. The story is Mr. Stewart’s first publication (nice catch). I found the brief tale to be a cute idea but the present tense narration was a big negative for me. It was unnecessary and lent to a disconnection with the characters and plot.

Butterfly gets her first tattoo on her 13th birthday and receives a gift she didn’t ask for in “Butterfly and the Blight at the Heart of the World” (debut 09/03/10) by Lavie Tidhar. The young granddaughter of the Head of the Council can hear the Rogon, long dead aliens cocooned in the trees of the forest. At first, the incomprehensible murmurs are nothing more than idle chit-chat in Butterfly’s ears, than one day their tone changes. Butterfly believes they are calling her, and they need her help.

At over 9000 words, “Butterfly and the Blight at the Heart of the World” is one of the longest stories you’ll find in Daily Science Fiction. I couldn’t help thinking while reading it that it didn’t need to be so. An awful lot was thrown into the story that had little to do with the overall plot. Much was made about Butterfly’s relationships with other characters when they had little to do with the solution to the story. All the extra material slowed the pacing to a crawl. Another problem I had was the age of the cocoons. The aliens were supposed to be dead for a quarter of a million years, wouldn’t they be fossils by now? What I did like was the unexpected reveal of the nature of the voices Butterfly hears. Unfortunately you had to get through two-thirds of the story to get to it.

“Butterfly and the Blight at the Heart of the World” would make a nice sci-fi mystery if it were shorter. The author took great pains to show Butterfly as a normal girl with a unique problem. Lavie Tidhar made the story mundane in the process.

“Fiddle” (debut 09/06/10) by Tim Pratt opens with a small history lesson on the Roman Emperor Nero, told by a mysterious guide. The guide speaks of the legend of Nero playing a fiddle while Rome burned in the first century AD and offers a unique explanation of how it may have come to life.

“Fiddle” is more like a tease than a story. Its short size limits what I can say about it without ruining it for the reader. Hard for me to recommend it. I found it not attractive enough to call it cute, but I did like that last line.

In “Ezra’s Prophecy” (debut 09/07/10) by Debs Walker, Ezra is a hermit living in a cave. She studies the book of God’s Prophesies with only a weekly visit from a young village woman to look forward to. Then one day the Gods grace her with a vision. Ezra is eager to write her own book of prophesy but takes advantage of her brief gift of premonition to see what effect her holy book will have in the future.

I had two different impressions of “Ezra’s Prophecy”. The first two thirds I found slow and I worried that the plot was headed nowhere. The last third, however, was a making of a classic tale. I found it deep,an outstanding concept on religion and of the people who founded it. Ezra is granted a great gift from the God’s and makes a choice that proves to be an even greater one to her people.

The first half of “Ezra’s Prophecy” is dull, but the end made the pay off worth it.

The protagonist in “Hobo Signs” (debut 09/08/10) by Ree Young is an elderly lady who finds a hobo on her porch. The man has alcohol on his breath and a tale of aliens on his mind.

“Hobo Signs” is almost cute. The story is told from an old woman’s perspective and done well, but I wanted to scream ‘get on with it!’ at her at one point. The story doesn’t have much to it, at least not enough to satisfy me.

“Tag, You’re It” by Melissa Mead (debut 09/09/10) is a tale of a lost soul and a devil playing a childhood game with the playing field Earth. The hider hides as an ordinary person (and other things) while the seeking player hunts them down.

If character growth defines what makes a good story for you than “Tag, You’re It” is your kind of piece. The devil learns much about life as he takes on a trio of different personalities in the game. I rather liked the story. I found the ending fitting. A well done work of flash fiction.

“Seek Nothing” (debut 09/10/10) by Cat Rambo is the story of Sean Marksman, a clone psychologist who specializes in scent alterations. Sean is eager to escape his religious, puritan home. The planet he has escaped to is in need of a specialist like him, but his fellow humans are suspicious of his fundamentalist background. Sean has been raised to believe clones are beings without a soul. His fellow workers treat them as if they are machines , machines that can be abused. As time drags on, Sean begins to identify with the clones plight.

“Seek Nothing” is not a story for everyone. The plot drags and the protagonist is a hard one to like. The supporting characters are portrayed as unsympathetic and aloof , or worse – and the clones are nothing more than living mannequins. However, by the end of the story a realization of the depth of this masterpiece fell on me like a ton of bricks.

This story is one of repression. Sean tires of his purist early life and wants to be a normal man, one free of the guilt of sin his father weighed on him. However, young Sean hooks up with people that are anything but normal and as degenerate as could be imagined. He is like an Amish boy whose first experience with the outside world is with exiled men alone in the Arctic. Added to this jaded experience, details of Sean’s own past surfaces as the story progresses. What we witness in this tale is the disassembling of a man to the point where he feels on par with soulless machines. RECOMMENDED.

“Chameleon” (debut 09/13/10) by Colin Harvey is set in an America under attack by a race of aliens called Dragons and their Chinese allies. The Dragons have the ability to mimic humans, and have gotten good enough at it to make them indistinguishable from the person they are imitating. Major Emily Sparrow has been brought into the ruins of the Pentagon to help determine if her husband is really an alien in disguise.

“Chameleon” is an excellent example on how intriguing and thorough a short story can be. Mr. Harvey opened up a big world and introduced wonderful characters in a handful of words. The story was extra special for me because of its ending. I knew there was a twist coming yet was still caught off guard when the reveal hit me; so subtle and unexpected. It was the whipped cream on top of delicious sci-fi work of art. RECOMMENDED.

“On the Sweetness of Children” (debut 09/14/10) by Michelle Muenzler opens when the Green Fairy falls dead in the middle of blessing the infant princess. She drops at the word ‘hunger’ and the princess becomes a glutton as a result. The round royal is sensitive about her weight, and isn’t above devouring her critics, which isn’t good for her public image. But when you have a bottomless pit for a stomach, public image becomes secondary.

“On the Sweetness of Children” is a very cute story. It is a birth of a fairy tale, which I always find neat. Enjoyable but not “finger licking good.”

Dain talks the crew of the ‘Maidens Crescent’ into stopping at every satellite while traveling through the Sol System in “Mercury in Hand” (debut 09/15/10) by Amanda M Hayes. The Zero-rank magician wants a piece of every planet for a wealthy client to take with him.

I would like to delve deeper into the point of the story but it was completely lost on me. The who, what, and why of the tale is a mystery to me. I didn’t get it and still don’t after I read it three times in an attempt to understand it.

In “Azencer” (debut 09/16/10) by Rigel Ailur, two sisters with the gift of telekinesis battle for the right to be queen.

At a hundred words, Azencer is as short as a complete tale can get. The author did well with so few words.

“American Changeling” (debut 09/17/10) by Mary Robinette Kowal takes place in a quiet Oregon town on a planet called Earth. Kim is the daughter of two faerie changelings. She has been raised for the day to open the gate between the Faerie world and Earth. The key to unlock the gate has been hidden in iron (deadly to faeries) and protected by Catholic magic. Kim is the only one that can resist both, but the enemies to the queen are aware of her and are ready for the great event.

“American Changeling” is an adventure story. It is one of the longest stories in DSF but it reads quick. The characters stand out and the action is well done. The story is done quite well but the general plot is very familiar. Nevertheless, the reading experience is very enjoyable but I would expect nothing less from a pro like Ms. Kowal.

“Flint’s Folly” (debut 09/20/10) by J Chant is a story about a Nobel Prize winning scientist’s, Professor Flint, greatest discovery. His most trusted assistant, Mattius, attends the press conference where Antarctica’s most respected scientist unveils his faster-than-light machine. The demonstration is a success, making the already famous scientist a giant on the world stage. As a close associate, Mattius basks in the professor’s glory, but soon discovers it only takes one mistake to erase a legacy.

“Flint’s Folly” is my kind of story. The author introduced a complete world and set of circumstances that I could buy into. The premise of the story is one I could see happening one day, and circumstances of our not-too-distant past have proved this type of mistake has been made before. Mattius is successfully presented as a loyal comrade. He believes in his mentor and is proud of his past accomplishments. You can feel the validation he feels when the rest of the world cheers for the professor’s breakthrough discovery. Telling the story from his viewpoint was genius with the direction the author decided to take. At the risk of revealing too much, I particularly enjoyed Professor Flint’s attempt to salvage pride at the end, emotionally well done.

This story was great. RECOMMENDED.

Young Revka is ten and has yet to discover her talent in “Picture in Sand” (debut 09/21/10) by Susan A Shepherd. Her mother discovered her woodcarving gift right away, while her father had to search through all nine talents before finding his own. It can be a lot of work before your talent is discovered, or if you’re lucky, your talent may discover you.

Ms Shepherd put a lot of thought into creating her magical world in this story. Impressive considering she didit in so few words. Unfortunately I think the story needed more for it to work. This heartwarming piece came off as flat to me.

“The Man who said Good Morning” (debut 09/22/10) by Ralph Gamelli is set in a future where everyone reads minds and talking is considered taboo. That doesn’t stop Louis McKalty. He first works his voice on his wife, chasing her as if he were holding a dead mouse. He then proceeds to greet the world with his rediscovered gift of speech. The world isn’t prepared to listen to his primitive mode of communication, and if he doesn’t listen to reason, society will send his brand of ‘getting to know each other’ the way of the Neanderthal.

“The Man who said Good Morning” is a fun story about a man who is having some innocent fun. Louis is rediscovering himself and that makes others uncomfortable. I liked how Mr. Gamelli decided to introduce a society where only silent, psychic interaction is allowed. Nice story that could have used some expanding.

Annalisa begs her father to take her to an unsavory fair in “The Jug Game” (debut 09/23/10) by Jennifer Moore. While her father disappears in a beer tent, Annalisa is encouraged to play a jug game. The prize is she gets to keep the soul inside if she wins.

“The Jug Game” puzzles me. The stories ending left me unsatisfied and I wondered if I read the complete version.

“The Fosterling” (debut 09/24/10) by Therese Arkenberg starts off in a shack of a house that is the home of the future king, Hepastian IV. It has been seven years the young prince has lived in the slums and it is Jain Harley’s duty to retrieve the boy and take him to New Geneva to reunite him with his father the king. The foster mother is not ready to give up her ‘Jacky’ and the boy isn’t eager to leave the only home he has known. Jain is chosen for this duty because she does it well, even when crushing migraines afflict her without mercy.

“The Fosterling” is a good story that is written very well. Jain Harley is convincing as a duty bound Captain of the Guard who has a job that simply sucks. All the past kings have spent their first seven years living in the slums so they will learn compassion. Jain is mystified on why Jacky doesn’t want to leave the ghetto he was raised in and wonders at one point “Didn’t all kids dream of being princes?” Coupled with the stress of tearing a young child from the only home he knows, a recurring migraine inflicts Jain.

I could find little fault with this piece. Therese Arkenberg is a very skilled writer. The story is solid and quick but is thin with content. Nevertheless I enjoyed reading it very much.

“Long Pig” (debut 09/27/10) by Matthew Johnson, is the name of a new restaurant featuring a popular chef. The menu is unique and the food is delicious thanks to a chef with a unique past and a commitment to put all he has into his creations.

It wasn’t too difficult to figure out what “Long Pig” was all about. Too many clues made it obvious early on. The chef’s willingness to share his past to his customers made him more creepy than interesting to me.

The restaurant’s customers may have found “Long Pig” appetizing but it didn’t satisfy me.

“Sparks” (debut 09/28/10) by Mari Ness is about a man who has replaced his hands with wands. The protagonist is drawn to the mysterious man and the lovely sparks his wands create. She takes great effort to not stare at his wands and wants to learn why he would make such a trade.

“Sparks” is a story of desire. The protagonist clearly has fallen for the stranger. I however was not drawn into his spell and fail to see the appeal he has over her. The appeal didn’t translate to me.

Unlike the protagonist, I failed to fall under “Sparks” ‘spell.

Jack and Sarah share tea in their home, drinking it out of their favorite cup, just as they always did in “Small Differences” (debut 09/29/10) by Tim Patterson. The only problem is this is the first time they met.

“Small Differences” is a story set in a world where alternate universes have intersected. People are switched into a new one that is very similar to the one they originated in. Slight changes make it different. Sarah and Jack shared a life with their alternate selves and their not-quite-the-same past makes their meeting painful and hopeful.

Not a bad story but one that was too brief for me to enjoy. Not that it needs expanding. I think the author got as much as he could from the idea.

George Washington is about to attend his inaugural in “A Little-Known Historical Fact” (debut 09/30/10) by Tim McDaniel. He talks with his aide Billy and tells him what his mother said he could accomplished if he applied himself.

This short story is just plain silly. The premise relies on GW’s mother knowledge of a term that I believe didn’t exist in her era.

Overview

I asked an editor of a leading review outlet on why DSF is ignored. The answer I got back was there was too much to review and the editors must be nuts if they think they can keep up throwing so many stories, at the rate they pay, for essentially free. Maybe Mr. Laden and Ms Barasso have deep pockets, maybe they have a business model other publications should emulate. I don’t know. I do know, word count wise, they publish as much as Analog, F & SF, and Asimov do each month. Sure they’re putting out 20 plus new stories a month, but 80% are under 2000 words and most are flash fiction size; an easy to get through length if you’re looking for a daily outlet. The question is, does the quality match up to what other pro-rated magazines have to offer. The answer is yes.

I found almost all the stories of a high quality. Because they were so high, my standards for recommendation were raised. If Jon and Michele can continue to publish such thoughtful, creative, and outstanding fiction, I see no reason why Daily Science Fiction won’t be the next big thing in publishing today.

My personal favorite of the month was “Chameleon” by Colin Harvey. I just simply loved it.

I recommend that you all sign up to receive a daily hand-delivered story from Daily Science Fiction. You can sign up for them, and read these stories and other ones here.

Frank is lurking back around in Diabolical Plots again. Other places have throw him out on his ear but Dave is a sucker for people that have worn out their welcome elsewhere. So Dave has Frank review to keep him out of his hair.

Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1

written by David Steffen

The Harry Potter movie series is almost complete. Just one more movie to go after this one, which will cover the second half of the 7th and final book in the series. If you haven’t read/seen the first six in the series, then you really ought to stop now–there’s no way to discuss this without major SPOILERS to the earlier books.

Premise

The Deathly Hallows as a whole takes on the final conflict between the forces of good led by Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix rebel organization, and the forces of evil led by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (aka Voldemort) and his army of Death Eaters. The forces of good have recently taken a huge loss with the death of Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts and the only person Voldemort has ever feared. Not only that, but the death was at the hands of Severus Snape, who had been working undercover as a member of Voldemort’s Death Eaters. Dumbledore trusted Snape absolutely, despite many objections from other members of the Order.

The stakes in this tale are higher than ever. The protective charms protecting Harry while he lives at the Dursleys’ are still in place until his seventeenth birthday, but with that birthday fast approaching, the Order of the Phoenix has to set up drastic plans to ensure he can be safely moved from the Dursleys’ to a secure location. The story starts off full of action. Although the movie glosses over this, Harry, Hermione, and Ron decide to skip their seventh year at Hogwarts. Instead, they devote their entire attention to seeking out Voldemort’s four surviving Horcruxes on their quest to defeat him once and for all.

My Thoughts (and spoilers)

All in all, this movie was much more faithful to its book than Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. Half-Blood Prince, movie 6, was particularly bad in this respect, cutting out many important scenes and replacing them with long drawn out scenes that were fluffy digressions and violate long-standing story rules (such as the hard and fast rule in the series that humans cannot apparate into or out of the Hogwarts grounds. This one was pretty much on-track all the way through, though I did see a few notable changes. Splitting this book into two movies was a very good move, because there is just too much ground to cover comfortably in two hours. Movies 4, 5, and 6 have each had to cut significant parts out to squeeze it into even a 2.5 hour movie, and because this is the last book in the series there’s not much that can be cut out that doesn’t seriously change the final effect of the series.

Unlike all of the other movies, this is not really a complete story arc, but that should come as no surprise with the “Part 1” in the title. It actually picks a very dark place to end the film with Voldemort laying hands on a powerful artifact that he has been seeking throughout the movie.

And the first half of this book was one of my least favorite parts of the series and not what I would call Rowling’s best work. The opening is good, action-packed, and the wedding of Bill and Fleurs is a nice touch before everything goes downhill, but then for several hundred pages I have two big peeves. Both of these are peeves I have with the book, so the fact that they are present in the movie just means that they were faithful in their reproduction:
1. Harry, Hermione, and Ron are on the run. Most of this time they seem to spend bitching at each other about whatever comes to mind. There is a reason for this bickering, but this gets old really fast.
2. The trio have a pretty much impossible task ahead of them, in the tradition of large scale fantasy plots, which is great. But the way they’re able to surmount most of this is simply wild coincidences. Three Ministry officials happen to pass by that they can capture and Polyjuice with no effort. They run into Umbridge in the elevator, who happens to be wearing the locket. Dumbledore’s gift of the Deluminator has a secondary purpose suddenly revealed that seems to be nothing but a Deus Ex Machina convenience.

Overall, though, I thought they did a very nice job with it, but I will be much more excited to see Part 2, and to see how they pull off the grand finale.

What was changed (Spoilers)

In case anyone’s curious what they changed, I only noticed a few things that really stood out, though I haven’t read it since the book was first released:
1. Hedwig died in a different manner. In the book, she was loaded in her cage on the back of Hagrid’s flying motorcycle. The motorcycle crashes into the ground at high velocity and Hedwig dies in the crash. In the movie, Harry lets her free before the chase, but she catches up to them and attacks the Death Eater who is chasing Harry. She’s killed by a green curse in retaliation, perhaps an Avada Kedavra.
2. Peter Pettigrew dies in a different manner. In the book, he actually shows mercy on Harry, but his silver hand, given to him by Voldemort, acts against his will and strangles himself. In the movie, Dobby strikes him down in some unexplained way, perhaps through his elf magic.
3. The opening scene with Hagrid and Harry on Hagrid’s motorcycle embellished way too much, having them driving on London freeways as the trailing Death Eater tosses curses that destroy innocent drivers.
4. Polyjuice potions in the movie only change appearances, but not voices. This is inconsistent with earlier movies, and also does not make sense–how can it make an effective disguise if the voice is all wrong.

Review: Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine #47

written by David Steffen

I apologize for being slow to get this out. I realize that issue #48 is already available, which I haven’t had a chance to read yet. But I feel strongly about issue #47 and I wanted to post a review of it, even if it is a bit tardy. I bought issue #47 because it includes a story by my friend Gary Cuba. I like his style and I like to buy copies of his published stories. This was the first issue I’ve read of Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine (ASIM) that I ever read, and I was very pleased with what I read. Pleased enough that I asked for an ASIM subscription for Christmas. Not only were my favorite stories from this issue extremely good, I liked almost all of them, and I don’t say that about many magazines. I’m letting my subscription on another magazine lap because I simply like too few of the stories, and the few stories I do like, are just not that good. This issue was so much better I am happy to send my money ASIM’s way.

One thing that I really like about Andromeda Spaceways is that their judging system works without the author’s name attached to the story. A lot of the big magazines claim that they choose their stories based on quality and not on the fame of the name, but when asked about judging without author name attached, they tend to get very defensive. With the name stripped off, the story has to stand for itself. If a big name’s story is really worthy, it will rise to the top even without the name attached, but this way second-rate rushed stories by the big names will be less likely to make it through.

I encourage you all to give ASIM a try, based on the issue that I have read, and I hope that the magazine as a whole is as consistent as this first issue was. This one was edited by Patty Jansen, one of a rotating set of editors, so I will be very interested to see how even the magazine feels from editor to editor as well.

Dig up the Vote by Patrick S. Tomlinson

The living dead have been given the right to vote. To take advantage of this, political candidates raise zombies just to collect votes. The protagonist of this story is a volunteer helping out with this process. The story begins as she’s meeting up with the pink-clad Necromancer bringing the walking dead up from the ground, and is the one in charge of feeding them and herding them to the polls and coaxing them into voting.

This story was hilarious from the beginning with the interactions with the Necromancer, to the very end.. Humor is a hard thing to pull off well, but this one had me rolling. I believe this was Patrick’s first published story, so I’m happy that ASIM took a chance on his story. It’s a great bit of comedy, well-deserving of having the coveted first story location, and it was just a lot of fun..

Dog by Stephen Watts

Dog tells of a spaceship-dwelling family living on a ship. Grandpa always insisted that they share the ship with a supernatural roommate that mostly doesn’t bother them… as long as it gets it’s scheduled tobacco offerings. The trouble is, tobacco has been illegalized and becomes harder and harder to obtain.  Grandpa always insisted on the tobacco offerings, but now that’s he’s passed away, none of the remaining family members believe in the necessity of the offerings.

This was a cool story, a nice mix of science fiction and fantasy, supernatural creatures in space. I really cared about what happened to these characters, and I was very anxious to see the story unroll. It was very good.

Killing Time by Felicity Pullman

This is the story of Jane Marshall, the widow of star football player known by everyone simply as “Bull.” Most of the story is told as a flashback, telling of their not-s0-wonderful relationship before his death. For most of the story, the speculative element isn’t very clear, but it is there soon or later.

This was the one story that I just strongly disliked. Both Jane and Bull were nasty individuals without any redeeming features whatsoever. I got the impression I was supposed to be horrified by the dark events of the story, but when bad things happened to these characters I just shrugged. The ending was a twist, but a too predictable one, and one that felt more gimmicky than natural to the story. I would’ve gotten over the ending if I’d cared at all about either character, but as it was I just wanted this one to be over.

The Ship’s Doctor by Charlotte Nash

This is another author for whom this issue is their first publication. Congratulations on that, Charlotte! The title does not refer to a doctor who happens to live on a ship; she is literally a doctor who treats ships. In this future, ships are bio-engineered creatures with real intelligence, and it is no longer just a mechanic-type job. Instead, it’s more something that’s a mix of psychiatry and medicine applied to an anthropmorphized mode of transpot.

This was a really cool idea, and well executed. It took me a little while to get into the head of the main character, but once I got the hang of her point of view, I really appreciated it. This story did a very nice job revealing a complicated setting as part of the story, instead of dumping the information all at once. Her drive, her lust to do what she does makes for a very interesting and unique character, and the other main characters were chosen to be different enough from her to allow some very interesting interplay and contrast between them. I really cared about the stakes in this story, and I was really rooting for it to turn out right.

The Machine Whisperer by Gary Cuba

This is the story of maintenance mechanic Joe, as told by his co-worker. Joe has an extraordinary knack to fix anything, almost verging on the supernatural; he seems to have an aura that alters probability wherever he goes.

I’ll be upfront and admit that I consider Gary a friend, but I do genuinely like to read his fiction. He has a distinctive style that is makes me smile, and this is a lighthearted story in Gary Cuba’s usual vein. This carries the usual lighthearted style of Gary’s work. It’s short but sweet, giving a premise, working with it, but not overstaying its welcome. I actually wouldn’t have minded if this story had been a bit longer, which is not something I say very often.

Hyu Khul and the Broth of Stone by Tam McDonald

A fable-like story, a myth telling of Hyu Khul, a man so respectful of the virtues of his wives that he would refuse to touch them. He takes on a quest to brew a potion he overhears described by the gods, which will render him invulnerable. And, in true fable fashion, it comes complete with a myth.

This one left me pretty lukewarm. The character was so far-fetched he was hard to relate to, and the moral was pretty obvious from the very first line based on that far-fetchedness. None of the people ever felt like real people, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing for a fable-style story, but I also didn’t really buy the situation, and I wasn’t surprised by the moral. If the moral is so blaringly obvious, it sort of defeats the purpose of telling a fable, no?

Acid by Debi Carroll

A story told by a mermaid-like creature, one of a race of such creatures fished out of the Dead Sea. Their saliva is highly corrosive, and they’re captured to use for cheap and efficient petroleum refining. The mermaids aren’t individuals in the usual sense of the word–they have a sort of race memory, where any one can draw upon memories of any of its ancestors.

I’d read this one over on Baen’s Bar–I liked it there and I liked it here. The race memory point of view was very interesting, and I really wanted to root for the mermaid collective. It takes a little while to understand the point of view at the beginning, but it is just a difficult point of view to convey. Once I understood the premise, I didn’t have any more problems following it. This was very well done.

Leeching Tinnitus by John Phillips

Tommy’s almost 17, and he’s going to live with his last living relative, Baxter, an old man living on a country estate. Tommy’s suffering a case of Tinnitus due to trauma (that’s ringing ears, for those who don’t know). Baxter goes out of his way to make Tommy’s life a living hell, especially his daily task of collecting leeches for Baxter to use as fish bait. Who will come out ahead in the end?

Baxter was a real bastard, but Tommy was such a nonentity that I didn’t really want to root for him either. The Tinnitus seemed to have no real function in the story, other than to give Tommy a distinguishing characteristic. And Tommy did need need something to make him feel more unique, but I needed something more than a medical condition to do it. Maybe I missed something. I mean, it has to be very important if it’s in the title right? The leeches were certainly central to the story, but really were nothing more to me than a grossout factor. Grossout is okay, if it’s just part of another story, but when grossout is all there is… it’s just enough for me.

The Backdated Romance by Ferrett Steinmetz

A time travel love story. Unexpectedly, David approaches Barbara, telling her deepest secrets she’d never told anyone. She knew him before this, but only as an acquaintance, and he goes on to explain he’s from the future after they’d been married. A very cool start, and in true time travel fashion, it gets more complicated as it goes on.

I loved this story. I love a good time travel story and this was a great one. The problems presented were unique and interesting, and the dynamic between David and Barbara was very interesting, with the early years of their history already in David’s past. There were some great twists and turns here, and the story was well done. I’m not surprised like I was such a fan of Ferret’s story–his story “Suicide Notes, Written by an Alien Mind” made #2 on my Best of Pseudopod list.

written by David Steffen

I apologize for being slow to get this out. I realize that issue #48 is already available, which I haven’t had a chance to read yet. But I feel strongly about issue #47 and I wanted to post a review of it, even if it is a bit tardy. I bought issue #47 because it includes a story by my friend Gary Cuba. I like his style and I like to buy copies of his published stories. This was the first issue I’ve read of Andromeda Spaceways Inflight Magazine (ASIM) that I ever read, and I was very pleased with what I read. Pleased enough that I asked for an ASIM subscription for Christmas. Not only were my favorite stories from this issue extremely good, I liked almost all of them, and I don’t say that about many magazines. I’m letting my subscription on another magazine lap because I simply like too few of the stories, and the few stories I do like, are just not that good. This issue was so much better I am happy to send my money ASIM’s way.

One thing that I really like about Andromeda Spaceways is that their judging system works without the author’s name attached to the story. A lot of the big magazines claim that they choose their stories based on quality and not on the fame of the name, but when asked about judging without author name attached, they tend to get very defensive. With the name stripped off, the story has to stand for itself. If a big name’s story is really worthy, it will rise to the top even without the name attached, but this way second-rate rushed stories by the big names will be less likely to make it through.

I encourage you all to give ASIM a try, based on the issue that I have read, and I hope that the magazine as a whole is as consistent as this first issue was. This one was edited by Patty Jansen, one of a rotating set of editors, so I will be very interested to see how even the magazine feels from editor to editor as well.

Dig up the Vote by Patrick S. Tomlinson

The living dead have been given the right to vote. To take advantage of this, political candidates raise zombies just to collect votes. The protagonist of this story is a volunteer helping out with this process. The story begins as she’s meeting up with the pink-clad Necromancer bringing the walking dead up from the ground, and is the one in charge of feeding them and herding them to the polls and coaxing them into voting.

This story was hilarious from the beginning with the interactions with the Necromancer, to the very end.. Humor is a hard thing to pull off well, but this one had me rolling. I believe this was Patrick’s first published story, so I’m happy that ASIM took a chance on his story. It’s a great bit of comedy, well-deserving of having the coveted first story location, and it was just a lot of fun..

Dog by Stephen Watts

Dog tells of a spaceship-dwelling family living on a ship. Grandpa always insisted that they share the ship with a supernatural roommate that mostly doesn’t bother them… as long as it gets it’s scheduled tobacco offerings. The trouble is, tobacco has been illegalized and becomes harder and harder to obtain.  Grandpa always insisted on the tobacco offerings, but now that’s he’s passed away, none of the remaining family members believe in the necessity of the offerings.

This was a cool story, a nice mix of science fiction and fantasy, supernatural creatures in space. I really cared about what happened to these characters, and I was very anxious to see the story unroll. It was very good.

Killing Time by Felicity Pullman

This is the story of Jane Marshall, the widow of star football player known by everyone simply as “Bull.” Most of the story is told as a flashback, telling of their not-s0-wonderful relationship before his death. For most of the story, the speculative element isn’t very clear, but it is there soon or later.

This was the one story that I just strongly disliked. Both Jane and Bull were nasty individuals without any redeeming features whatsoever. I got the impression I was supposed to be horrified by the dark events of the story, but when bad things happened to these characters I just shrugged. The ending was a twist, but a too predictable one, and one that felt more gimmicky than natural to the story. I would’ve gotten over the ending if I’d cared at all about either character, but as it was I just wanted this one to be over.

The Ship’s Doctor by Charlotte Nash

This is another author for whom this issue is their first publication. Congratulations on that, Charlotte! The title does not refer to a doctor who happens to live on a ship; she is literally a doctor who treats ships. In this future, ships are bio-engineered creatures with real intelligence, and it is no longer just a mechanic-type job. Instead, it’s more something that’s a mix of psychiatry and medicine applied to an anthropmorphized mode of transpot.

This was a really cool idea, and well executed. It took me a little while to get into the head of the main character, but once I got the hang of her point of view, I really appreciated it. This story did a very nice job revealing a complicated setting as part of the story, instead of dumping the information all at once. Her drive, her lust to do what she does makes for a very interesting and unique character, and the other main characters were chosen to be different enough from her to allow some very interesting interplay and contrast between them. I really cared about the stakes in this story, and I was really rooting for it to turn out right.

The Machine Whisperer by Gary Cuba

Hyu Khul and the Broth of Stone by Tam McDonald

Acid by Debi Carroll

Leeching Tinnitus by John Phillips

The Backdated Romance by Ferrett Steinmetz


Tron 2.0 (Bygone Game Review)

written by David Steffen

And now for a Bygone Game Review, a new label I made up to avoid getting complaints about the age of the review material. Yes, I know this isn’t a new game, but it has aged well, and is still well worth playing.

In 2003, twenty-one years after the release of the Tron movie, Buena Vista Entertainment released a sequel. It’s not a movie–it’s a game, a first person shooter (FPS) to be exact). The game somehow seems to have slipped under many gamers’ radars. I hadn’t come across it until five years after its release. Fans of the original movie will enjoy the digital world setting, reminiscent of the original in many ways yet also new and shiny, like 20 years of system upgrades in one fell swoop, and there are plenty of nods to the original for the dedicated fan to catch. But playing the game does not require familiarity with the original movie, so it could draw in new fans of the Tron universe, just in time for the long-awaited of the Tron movie sequel due out next month: Tron Legacy.

Story

In the game setting, just like in real life, twenty-one years have passed since the events of the Tron movie. ENCOM has since been taken over by Future Control Industries (fCon). Alan Bradley (still voiced by Bruce Boxleitner) still works for the company. After the events of the original story, he married his then-girlfriend Lora, and together they had a son named Jet. Lora has died by the time of this game, and Alan has talked Jet into hiring on to fCon as a video game developer. Even though Lora is dead, actress Cindy Morgan still has a voice acting part, lending her voice to the program Ma3a.

The game starts off when Jet gets digitized by the same invention that had digitized Flynn in the movie. Really, guys, don’t you think it’s time to create some safety features for that thing? But then, I suppose, we wouldn’t have any more Tron stories, and that would be sad, so never mind. At this point in the game, Jet is unaware of the laser or any of the events of the movie, so this is all new to him. He is greeted by the program Ma3a , Alan’s computer system’s AI, who has chosen to digitize him to fight the corruption caused by Thorne, a virus that is running rampant in the company network. She refers to Jet as Alan 2, not understanding the difference between program versions and human generations, which is a cute touch.

Meanwhile, the Kernel, the leader of the ICP security programs, detects Jet’s intrusion into the system and incorrectly determines him to be the source of the corruption. So Jet is opposed by not only the virus-corrupted programs he comes across, but also by the ICP’s as he tries to make his way across the virtual world to stop the corruption. As he goes, a larger and more sinister plot reveals itself which I will leave for you to discover. It’s a good story to accompany a great game, well worth the time.

The Visuals

Wow is this game pretty! They perfected a really neat glowing light effect for this game so all the lighting has a bit of aura to give it a very neon look. The upgraded ICPs look awesome. The settings are very simplistically designed and are often just black with neon highlights, but the effect is very neat looking and otherworldly. At one point in the game you venture out into the Internet, and that was the coolest of all, it looks like a digital Las Vegas it was so lit up!

Gameplay

The controls are pretty much standard FPS controls, or can at least be configured that way. My preferred control system has mouse look on and uses the left and right arrows on the keyboard to strafe. This is how I play most any FPS, as it allows you to easily look in any direction, a necessary attribute in multi-elevation levels or with flying enemies.

You have two main attributes: health and energy. If your health runs out, you die. Your energy is an expendable and replenishable resource used for a variety of functions, including weapon ammunition, and downloading of new subroutines (I’ll explain that more later).

The weapon you start the game with, the base weapon, is the Disc Primitive, the Frisbee-like blue disc from the movie. It is the only weapon that takes zero energy to use, but it has a relatively slow rate of fire because you have to wait for the disc to return to you before you can throw it again. It’s surprisingly useful because it is fairly powerful, and the ICP’s armor does not protect very well against it. Not only that, but it doubles as a defense that is very effective against the ICP’s similar disc weapons. You can hold the disc in front of you to deflect an ICP-thrown disc. This will leave the ICP defenseless for a few moments while their disc bounces around, before they can retrieve it, so you can use the opportunity to get a couple blows in with your own disc. It’s not very useful, though, if faced with a crowd of enemies, because you can’t block everyone’s attacks, and the blocking only works against disc attacks, not the ball-based attacks of the viruses.

Most of the other weapons in the game behave in similar fashion to real-life weapons, so they should already be pretty familiar to FPS players. The Rod Primitive is like a stun prod. The Ball Primitive is like a grenade. Upgrades can be acquired for each of the primitives as well, such as the Suffuser, which makes the Rod behave like a shotgun, the LOL which makes the Rod behave like a sniper rifle, and the Ball Launcher, which makes the Ball behave like a rocket launcher.

Besides this, Jet has certain attributes that can be upgraded by increasing his version number, which he does by collecting a certain number of build points. The attributes you can enhance are things like your maximum health and maximum energy, which both start at 100, as well as your weapon efficiency for energy use. Build points can be acquired in two ways. First, you get build points automatically as you complete mission objectives, such as gaining access to a new area. Second, there are a limited number of collectible build points scattered here and there throughout each level, so it is worth your time to search thoroughly to find them all.

Instead of collecting keys to unlock doors, like you might do in a real world setting, you collect permission bits, each filling in one of 8 positions on your permission ring. Permissions are required for a variety of things, the most obvious being the opening of doors. Also, with certain permissions, you can deactivate security rezzing stations, which are alarm buttons that ICPs can press to call in reinforcements.

Okay, so that’s all pretty straightforward stuff, sort of cookie cutter FPS elements. Now this is where it gets really interesting, especially with archive bins and subroutines.

Archive bins appear as clear cubes in the world, with moving lights inside them, and if you can access one, you can download its contents. Its contents may include emails among people in the company, which help give background to the story, or other things like subroutines (which I will get into later). Once you have the permissions, you can see what is inside the archive bin at no cost, but downloading costs energy, the same energy that powers your weapons so you have to careful about what you download unless you have a handy energy source, or you could be backing yourself into a corner with no ammunition. The download costs varies from object to object, and is generally higher the more useful the object. Emails are usually a cheap 5 energy units, because they are really only for backstory, not helpful to the gameplay itself. Subroutines are generally more expensive, some significantly more expensive. Which brings us to subroutines.

Subroutines are the most unique part of Tron 2.0 gameplay. Each of them performs a particular function. For instance, the Fuzzy Signature subroutine makes your footsteps make less noise, which is important for sneaking up on guards. Any weapons besides the primitives (such as the Suffuser and the Ball Launcher) are subroutines. There are subroutines for a wide variety of uses, like protection from virus corruption, armor upgrades, and adding corrosive damage to your weapons. You gather subroutines as the game goes on by downloading from archive bins or from enemy core dumps (the remains after they die, er, de-rez). Once you collect a subroutine, then you can always equip it, but you can’t equip everything at once. As the game goes on, you travel from one computer to another, to a PDA, to the internet, and so on. Each system has different subroutine space configurations–some have ample memory so that you can trick yourself out with a bunch of subroutines, and others have only small amounts, so you have to be very careful what you choose. Is it more important to have that body armor, or the shotgun-like Suffuser weapon? You have to make that choice.

Here and there you will find an optimizer that you can use to upgrade just one of your subroutines. You’ll acquire most subroutines in an Alpha version, and they can be upgraded to Beta, then to Gold. The more upgraded a version, the less space it will take up in the system memory, and the more effective it will be. An Alpha routine requires three adjacent slots, while a Gold routine only requires one, and the gold version is also much better in some way or another (for instance, weapons will cause more damage, or virus protection will be more effective).

This may sound complicated, but it’s really not. The in-game tutorials are very well done, helping you learn how to play AS you play. Some of the subroutines are much more useful than others, and some are more useful against certain enemies than others. You can pause and swap in different subroutines at any time, so you can always try to pick the best ones for the current situation.

The Difficulty

I’m playing through the game again now, to get in the mood for the upcoming movie, and I’m having more trouble with it than I remember having the first time. Maybe I played the first time on Easy difficulty, this time I’m on Medium. Most of the time I can progress fine, and I try not to overuse the QuickSave function, but there are a few times when I was having difficulty and then QuickSaved in a bad place, where I was backed into a corner with low energy, surrounded by ICPs and no recent saves to fall back on. I saved in a momentarily safe place, but it was in a dead end surrounded by ICPs and I had to try to go through it a dozen times before I powered my way through using the disk weapon as efficiently as I could and zigzagging all over to make myself a hard target, and I just barely limped to the next energy source with only 3% health. After that point I tried to more meticulously make save files in a rotating fashion rather than relying on QuickSave as the primary restore method–since each QuickSave overwrites the previous QuickSave. I’m less than halfway through the game now, so we shall see how well I do when I run up against the big bad boss characters later in the game.

Light Cycles

And the light cycles are back from the first game, upgraded just like everything else. In case you’re not familiar with them, they look like motorcycles, but they are incapable of stopping and they leave a solid wall wherever they pass. The objective is to be the last one standing, and you do so by outmaneuvering your opponents, placing a wall in front of them and forcing them to run into it. This upgraded version adds powerups to the mix, such as a speed boost, and a one-shot missile which can destroy enemy bikes, or punch holes through a bike-wall to allow you to pass safely through, giving it both defensive and offensive uses.

The main FPS game has some light cycle segment as part of the progression, but there’s also a light cycle tournament accessible through the main menu, with escalating difficulty levels, novelty arenas, making that a worthwhile game in itself. I hear you can also play this online, though the game is so fast-paced that the slightest lag will doom you, so it would probably be better served over a LAN.

Overall

I highly recommend this game for everyone who likes FPS, whether they are fans of Tron or not. And if you are a fan, find the game and play it to get in the mood for the upcoming movie!

Classic Movie Spotlight: Tron

written by David Steffen

Okay, so most of you who follow Diabolical Plots have probably seen Tron, or at least are aware of it. But I wanted to do a quick overview in preparation for the Tron sequel movie coming out next month. Yes, after many years of rumors of a Tron sequel, it looks like it’s actually going to happen this time, with the name Tron Legacy. There have been full fledged previews, larger scale movie promos and the like. It really appears to be happening. I believe the release date planned is just before Christmas 2010. I’m excited to see Tron with modern special effects, and original cast members Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxleitner are even in the sequel, which is amazing to get them involved in a sequel to a movie 28 years old.

The original movie was released in July 1982. Honestly, I didn’t have much interest in it at the time. This may have had something to do with the fact that I was 6 months old. My brother, however, took it upon himself to ensure that, when I was old enough to appreciate them, I would be well-versed in 80s SF/fantasy movies, including Tron, The Last Starfighter, Flight of the Navigator, and Labyrinth.

Tron was written and directed by Steven Lisberger and was one of the first major studio movies to make extensive use of computer graphics. The graphics are quite dated by now, of course, but when you watch it just keep in mind that these special effects were amazing in 1982. The previews for Tron Legacy, of course, have updated computer graphics, loads of shiny goodness.

Premise

Flynn (Jeff Bridges) is an ex-employee of software corporation ENCOM. Outside of work hours, he was spending his free time developing innovative video games. His fellow developer Ed Dillinger (David Warner) stole his programs and presented them to ENCOM as his own work. ENCOM released the games which rocketed into popularity, especially Flynn’s pride and joy, “Space Paranoids”, earning Dillinger promotion after promotion, all the way up to the head of the company. And eventually Dillinger fired Flynn.

Now Flynn is on the outside, trying to hack into ENCOM’s network to find evidence of Dillinger’s wrongdoing so that Flynn can prove he’s the real author. But ENCOM’s new super-program, the Master Control Program (MCP) finds the intrusion, and cuts off Flynn’s security clearance. In the process, it also temporarily cuts off clearance to a current employee, Alan Bradley (Bruce Boxleitner), who finds out from Dillinger about the Flynn intrusion. Alan and his girlfriend Lora (Cindy Morgan) go to Flynn and hear his story, and together they decide to sneak into the ENCOM building at night and try to find evidence of the theft.

Once inside, Lora logs into her workstation for Flynn to use, and this is where the main plot really takes off. Her workstation is placed right next to the testing station of her current research project: a new technology that, with a laser and liberal amounts of handwavium, can transport physical objects into a datastream and back out again. While Flynn is doing his thing at the keyboard, the MCP seizes control of the laser and zaps him into ENCOM’s digital universe.

In the digital space, all of the programs wear the faces of the users who wrote them, but they all wear uniforms that cover their hair and look sort of like body armor. The special effects of this are very interesting. The uniforms and even the faces of the programs are all grayscale, no flesh tones, but the uniforms have neon lines tracing over their contours. The environment is a very simple digitial enviro, much of it being wireframes or simple polygon.

Flynn is captured and, along with a group of rebel programs, asked to renounce their belief in the users, who the programs tend to think of as gods. Those who refuse are forced into a gaming arena to fight each other to the death in a variety of games. During a round of the now iconic light cycle game (where the players drive motorcycles that leave solid walls behind them, the objective is to force your opponent to crash into a wall before you do), Flynn escapes the arena along with two other programs. One of those programs is the title character Tron, a security program written by Alan Bradley (and thus also played by Bruce Boxleitner). They team together to try to take down the tyrant that is the MCP.

My Views

This movie deserves credit for being one of a number of successful science fiction movies of the 1980s that helped define science fiction movie fandom. It’s fun, it has Jeff Bridges (who I’ve always liked), and it had a lot of cool ideas. Some of the effects are still pretty cool, like the spinning splendor of the MCP, and much of the work here laid the groundwork for modern special effects. Modern special effects can be a blessing or a curse, as they look very shiny, but are too oftenÂused to replace plot instead of enhance it. But special effects can be a great thing.

That doesn’t meanÂthat Tron isÂwithout its faults. Mostly, the middle of the film just gets a little long, and seems to serve as a showcase for the graphics, but doesn’t provide much in the way of plot. Especially the long, drawn-out chase scene with the MCP’s tanks chasing after our heroes’ light cycles in a long canyon. And in scenes like that, what I really want to know is what part of the computer network that represents. They are supposed to exist inside of the network after all. When one of the tanks falls off a cliff, what does that mean in the structure of a computer: nothing, really. I wish a little more thought had been given to the settings so that they each corresponded to something meaningful in the hardware or software of a computer.

Similarly, even though the characters in the story are supposed to be programs, they’re never particularly convincing as programs. Keep in mind that I may only have this nitpick because I write programs for a living, but programs don’t work that way. These programs look like people, but more than that, they really are little people, only with a different world to live in. This doesn’t really make all that much sense with this world supposedly being a manifestation of a computer network’s interior. In reality, an accounting program can only do accounting, not work together with security programs to infiltrate the MCP. And some of the actions of the programs also don’t really make sense. At one point in the movie Flynn (in the computer) kisses a program written by Lora. His motivations in this are clear, as his love for her is forbidden in the real world because she is with Alan, but what does the exchange mean from her point of view? I could make an obvious joke here about “interfacing”, but I really am curious what a kiss would accomplish/represent/imply to a program’s thinking.

If you’re interested in the development of special effects, see this movie. If you are a hardcore geek, see this movie. It may not be something for everyone, and again, the special effects are very dated, but if you can look past that, you might enjoy this. And I hope that the new movie makes good use of modern special effects without using them as a crutch. I can hope!

Scott Pilgrim Vs. the World

written by David Steffen

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World may be one of the strangest movies I’ve ever seen. It’s based on a comic book which I’ve never read (though I now intend to). Whether you like it or not depends almost entirely on whether you like your movies with a heavy dose of weird. For me, I like when a director dares to stray from Hollywood formulas and actually has the guts to try something different, even if the results aren’t spectacular. In this case, the results ARE spectacular, at least to my tastes. It’s a movie that will probably get love or hate reactions depending on if it hits your sense of humor. Some, but nowhere near all, of the humor is targeted toward video game and graphic novel aficionados such as myself. If you’re in that group, you’ll get a few more of the jokes, but if you’re not there is still plenty of humor for you, and video game knowledge is never vital for understanding the movie. I’m not going to hold my breath for it to win an Oscar, as I’ve lost all faith in the Academy’s willingness to consider awesome speculative fiction movies, or any movies that don’t fit its own cookie cutter shape (different than the blockbuster cookie cutter, but still a cookie cutte). But for a fun movie, especially if you’re squarely in the center of the target demographic like I am, it’s a huge hit, and is now on my short list of favorite movies. This will most definitely be on my Christmas list.

Synopsis

As the movie starts, the setting seems to be relatively mundane, and it stays that way for quite a while despite the strange and neurotic characters that populate it. Scott Pilgrim is a 23-year-old layabout with a garage band called Sex Bobomb (there’s one of those video game in-jokes). He has a 17-year old girlfriend in high school, pretty much as innocent as they come–they’ve been dating for weeks and they haven’t quite worked their way up to hold hands. Oddly, her name is Knives Chau. Despite this rather familiar setting, there are plenty of odd things about it, such as the fact that Scott sleeps in the same bed with his gay roommate (Scott himself is not gay). His roommate is played by Kieran Culkin, in the first acting role as an adult that I have seen him in. Yup, he still looks exactly like Macaulay Culkin but with dark hair, and his slightly creepy boyish looks just add to the comedy of his character. The relationships between the characters are weird and often dysfunctional, and played just the right way to keep the humor rolling as the plot continues.

From the beginning there are some strange visual effects, most of them evoking a comic book feel. Most sound effects are accompanied by a written sound effect somewhere on the screen. The doorbell is associated with a “Ding Dong!” popping up on the wall, and the phone is accompanied by a “Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing”. It’s a fun effect and they never overplayed its effect.

Throughout the movie, Scott has a series of weird dreams, most of them revolving around a mystery girl who he has never seen in real life. Until he runs into her at a party in all her pink haired goggled glory, she introduces herself as Ramona Flowers. He becomes immediately infatuated with her, and starts trying to start a relationship with her (without telling Knives). Meanwhile, Sex Bobomb enrolls in a local Battle of the Bands competition and it’s at the first round of that competition that the real premise of the movie really takes off. At the competition, Scott is attacked by one of Ramona’s exes. He is, in fact, part of the League of Evil Exes, an organization of her disgruntled exes dedicating itself to intercepting any of Ramona’s future love interests. To win the right to date her, Scott has to defeat all seven of her exes, each of them stranger than the last.

There are quite a few fairly well known actors in the movie, including Jason Schwartzman (Bored to Death, The Darjeeling Limited, Rushmore), Chris Evans (Fantastic Four, Push), Michael Cera in the title role (Arrested Development, Superbad, Youth in Revolt), and one big guest star but the movie doesn’t just try to ride their popularity. In fact, the roles and lines are often so absurd that it’s extra fun because these guys do not take themselves too seriously.

The fight scenes are what makes the movie really unique. Each one is different from the others, and most of them evoke a sort of Anime fight feel. They’re not even slightly realistic, with each of the exes tending to have some kind of improbable superhero-like power, and the effects showing these off are vibrant, even while the banter and stupid lines are hilarious.

My Views

I was pretty certain I would like it from the moment the Universal logo came on the screen in 8-bit color and graphics (picture the original NES circa 1985). And then recognizable Legend of Zelda theme music within the first few minutes.

Long story short: I loved it. If you like special effects, video games or comics, absurd humor, or if you just like movies that take the path less traveled, give this movie a try. Even before the fight scenes the special effects are great, and they just get better and better as the movie goes on. One of the greatest things is that I only saw one preview before the movie came out so I had little idea what to expect–too many times I have to shut my eyes when I keep seeing trailers because they keep giving away important details. Whenever there’s not action, there’s comedy, and there were some scenes that were so funny I had to laugh into my hand to keep from drowning out the movie with my guffaws. Great stuff!

One of the greatest parts is that the writers/director are aware of all the movie/game/comic cliches and they played them off very well for comedy effect. For instance, before they go to the opening competition of the Battle of the Bands, Scott gets an email from the first evil ex, telling him of the upcoming fight to the death. Scott reads it aloud for the audience, and we’re absorbing the information with a grin and wide eyes until Scott groans and deletes the email before finishing it before it’s so fatally boring. We’re expecting this to be the vital info-dump explaining the premise of the movie and it just gets cut off in the middle. So when the ex shows up, he has to re-explain everything from scratch, exasperated that Scott has such poor etiquette to not even read it.

All in all, I’d highly recommend it if you like a good laugh, if you like special effects or supernatural fight scenes, or if you just like a movie that doesn’t come from the Hollywood movie templates. Go see it in theatres while you still can–the special effects make it worth it.

SPOILERS

Not too many spoilers here, there were just one spoilerific thing I wanted to mention that particularly tickled me. Near the end of the movie, after he defeats all of the exes, Scott meets a shadow-version of himself. This is an old, old video game trope, the shadow self adversary. It’s always a grueling battle because your enemy has the exact same weaknesses and strengths as you. So when the shadow Scott shows up, I was mentally rubbing my hands together with glee. Ramona and Knives offer to join in the fight but he tells them this is one for him alone. They leave him alone to fight, cut scene, and the two Scott show up a while later after they’ve stopped at a waffle house (foregoing the fight entirely). “We really have a lot in common,” Scott says. Loved it. 🙂